Rainy Days and Mondays
by Bailsgal
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Rainy Days and Mondays  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All the Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Televison., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: How ever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance….what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: Alright all this is my first Alias fanfic, I'm use to writing Buffy stuff. So please be gentle till I figure out where this fic and the characters are taking me! I'd also like to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie!  
  
  
  
Pulling his knees up and resting his feet against the credenza behind his desk, Vaughn stared out the ceiling to floor windows of his office, lost in thought. Since the terrorist bombing at the embassy three months ago, Vaughn hadn't had much time to think. There hadn't been much time to do anything more than sleep, work and adjust to his new surroundings. Vaughn hadn't thought about her. He had refused to allow himself that painful luxury, but on this rainy London day as he stared out the window, he finally let himself remember the last day he saw her. Telling her he was leaving was, by far, the most painful day of his adult life.  
  
Leaving Sidney Bristow was hard, telling her he was being reassigned was harder, but telling her that he'd requested the transfer was the closest he'd ever been to hell. Vaughn settled back into his chair, closed his eyes and began to re-live every brutal moment of that last meeting.  
  
*****  
  
"What a mess out there! Sorry I'm late," Sydney's voice rang out as she approached the cage. "I swear people in this town cannot drive in the rain!"  
  
"No door service today?" she asked, trying to tease a smile out of him, but things had changed between them lately. Her own smile faltered as her comment failed to elicit any reaction from him. Vaughn had become cold, almost detached, as her handler since she had told him about Noah. It was unsettling. Sydney knew Dr. Bennett would have called Vaushn's current behaviour 'appropriate'; meeting with her, giving her the counter mission, wishing her luck and leaving in a blur of blue suit but she missed his concerned admonitions to be careful. It was the hardest part of this new formality that now existed beween them.  
  
"Sorry," he said as he slid the papers he was working on into a briefcase laid out on the crates. " I'm just a little preoccupied here."  
  
"You okay?" Sydney asked, staring hard at his turned back. Whatever was going on in his head wasn't good, but she was surprised that it would make her blood suddenly feel like ice in her veins.  
  
"I've been reassigned," he said simply, turning to face her.  
  
"No problem, I'll call Devlin and we'll have you reinstated within the hour. Not to worry," Sydney grinned, waving off the grave look on his face. Vaughn's total lack of response set the alarm bells ringing through Sydney again. This was much worse than Devlin. Was it above Devlin? Had Barrett finally gone over Devlin's head as she'd threatened?  
  
"Don't get involved, Sydney. There's nothing you can do," Vaugn said harshly. He turned abruptly, shoving the remainder of his papers into the briefcase.  
  
"It's not difficult, one little phone call….," she said, pulling out her cell phone.  
  
"God damn it Syd! Don't you get it! I asked for the reassignment," he snapped, frustrated by her singled mindedness. Well it was good to know that not everything lately was about her and Noah?  
  
"What?" she blinked, shocked by his words and the anger in his voice. Had she just heard him correctly? He had asked to be reassigned?  
  
"I've been reassigned to the Embassy in London, to work on their anti- terrorist team," he said, fixing his shoulders in a firm line. The last thing he wanted was for her to see how much leaving her was killing him.  
  
"You're leaving me," she siad flatly. It wasn't a question, just a hard statement of fact.  
  
"Tomorrow night," he said, turning to face her again. " Movers finished this morning, and I'm having dinner with my mom…," he stopped to look at his watch, "in 45 minutes. Tomorrow it's just tying up some lose ends at the office and I leave on the 9:00 p.m. flight to Heathrow"  
  
"You weren't going to tell me at all were you?" Syd was in shock. Vaughn was leaving her, and this was all the warning he was giving her. Her best friend was leaving and he didn't think she'd warranted anything more than a quick meeting in an abandoned warehouse.  
  
"I'm telling you now," he said stiffly, a note of defensiveness creeping into his voice.  
  
Vaughn seriously wanted to kick Weiss for making him do this. Why couldn't he just run away and disappear into the night like CIA men were supposed to? Why couldn't Weiss tell her for him, he was after all her new handler. Probably afraid she'd kick his ass. So instead, he was here, telling the woman he loved he was leaving and not telling her the real reason why. When had his life began to suck like this?  
  
"I need you," she said closing the distance between them, a distance she noticed that Vaughn had set.  
  
"No, you don't. You have your dad, your friends and….and Noah," Vaugn said trying to sound like he'd forgotten the guy's name, but how could he? Hadn't Noah Hicks been the one who'd ripped his heart out, snuffed out his dreams? He hated the sound of the guy's name. Hated it more that it came from, his own lips.  
  
"No. I need you. I can't talk to them…."  
  
"Syd! You have people around you that you trust, open up to them for a change. Let them in," he finished gently.  
  
"Oh? And how do you suggest I explain to my father my need to find my mother? Maybe I should tell Noah about the double agent stuff huh? Wait! Even better, let's get Francie and Will killed, or wasn't Danny enough for you?" Syd's temper was rising. How could he possibly leave her now. She needed him.  
  
"Tell Noah about your mom and tell your dad about the double agent stuff. Easy, see? Take out Agent Vaughn and insert one of the other men in your life in his place," Vaughn shrugged his shoulders. He was trying to sound flippant but it was coming out bitter.  
  
"How long have you known?" Syd demanded, standing in front of him and forcing him to meet her glare.  
  
"A couple weeks. Jill's been at me for awhile now to take the transfer."  
  
"Jill?" she asked. So there was someone in his life, someone new, someone female.  
  
"An ex of mine. We used to date when I worked in Washington. She's been in L.A. the last couple weeks, so we've…well we've been spending a lot of time together, and we've talked," he said, shrugging again. Suddenly he realized that he'd never told Sydney about his Washington years.  
  
"You were in Washington? See there's so much about you that I don't know. You can't leave me," Syd smiled hesitantly. Anger wasn't working, time to try another tactic. God she felt like crying.  
  
"I was your handler, Agent Bristow not your buddy," Vaughn hated being so hard assed suddenly, but it was the only way he could get out of this without collapsing and agreeing to stay in LA.  
  
And watch her fawn all over Noah? Never gonna happen!  
  
"So this ex shows up and suddenly and you're off to London? What do you know about working in an Embassy?" Sydney demanded indignantly.  
  
"Syd, my expertise is Terrorism. I'll be heading the station's Terrorism unit and Jill's been in my life longer than you know…."  
  
"Then why haven't you mentioned her before?"  
  
Why is she focusing on Jill? he thought.  
  
"Well!" she was pressing for an answer and, Vaughn found himself getting irritated by this sudden jealous act.  
  
"Jillian Louise Scott. Birthplace Toronto, Ontario Canada. Born December 18, 1969. Legal counsel for the Canadian Embassy in London. We meet at a Consulate dinner while she was assigned to the Canandian Consul in Washington. Our relationship ended when I moved back to L.A. to care for my mother after she broke her leg. Is there anything else you'd like to know Sydney? I'll warn you though, I draw a line at our sex life," Vaughn hurled at her, crossing his arms across his chest.  
  
"I'm just…."  
  
"What? Worried about me? Gonna miss me?"  
  
"Yes, I'll miss you Vaughn, " she blinked hard, her eyes were starting to burn with unshed tears.  
  
"My name is Michael!" he snapped, whirling to look at her. In all their meetings, never once had she called him Michael. It was always Vaughn. How had he fooled himself into thinking she cared about him? This was professional to her. He didn't matter to her. All he was to her was an anchor, something to keep her sane in her crazy world.  
  
Is that so bad? part of him asked.  
  
"I know… I just…we…" Sydney stumbled over her words. She didn't know what to say.  
  
"Look I have to go. I don't want to keep my mother and Jill waiting," he sighed.  
  
Yes, it's bad. I want so much more than just that.  
  
"She knows your mother?" Syd whispered. Who was this woman that seemed to be such a fixture in Vaughn's life that she knew his mother? How many of her exes, other than Danny, had she introduced to her father? Noah hadn't counted because they worked together so none, nada, zip. Given this, Sydney assumed that things had been pretty serious between them before he left Washington.  
  
Vaughn watched her face as she took in this piece of information. He hated the way the pain flared in her eyes.  
  
I so can't do this now!  
  
He needed air and space before he lost it completely and gave into her. Vaughn refused to let her see what his choice was costing him emotionally. Leaving her might just kill him. It would certainly change him forever, but he felt he had no choice. He couldn't stay as her handler knowing that she was in love with another man. Again he wondered how had he fooled himself into thinking they had something. Something he thought was worth waiting for but apparently Sydney Bristow had other plans. Now there was a warm bed and a new life waiting for him in England. He'd be a fool not to grab this chance.  
  
"Vaughn please I need you," Syd pleaded, reaching for his arm.  
  
"You don't! Can't you see that, Syd?" He asked, searching her eyes. "Sydney you are the strongest woman I know. You can do this without me."  
  
He rested his hand over hers, "Besides I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know you had Noah to lean on. I need to move on."  
  
"Think this over, please," she begged him.  
  
How could he think that what she had with Noah was enough, when it was his face she saw every night when she closed her eyes? She had tried telling herself that what she felt for Vaughn was nothing, but she had failed miserably. All that she had accomplished was hurting Vaughn, and now it was causing her to lose him forever. She knew what was in store for her. She'd that end up scared and alone, wondering where along the way she'd lost Noah as well  
  
How do I manage this time after time? I always mess up what's good before I even know I'm doing it! she thought to herself.  
  
"You said you believed in me! That you'd always be here for me. How can you leave?" she was spinning between anger and desperation. She didn't know what her next words would be, nor what tone would erupt next. She felt so lost!  
  
"Please Syd, try and understand. I'll always believe in you, that isn't the problem. I just need to find the man I used to be. I can't live for just you anymore," Vaughn spoke so quietly that she had to lean in to hear him. Their lips were mere inches apart. He could just kiss her, lose himself in a goodbye kiss, but why torture himself for eternity? Leaning in he gave Syd a peck on the cheek, before he breezed past her and out of her life.  
  
********  
  
Rainy days like this always reminded him of that day, and in London they had more than their share of rainy days. It had become important to wall off those memories and focus on other things, like trying to figure out what cell was responsible for the bombing. All the leads they had led to a French Algerian extremist group, but Vaughn had learned years ago to look beyond the obvious. Reaching behind him, he stretched for the photos from the security cameras both before and after the bombing. He had to be missing something.  
  
As he lost himself again in thoughts of the bombing, the phone rang shrilly behind him. Spinning lightly, he reached across the desk and grabbed it.  
  
"Agent Vaughn."  
  
"Meet me downstairs in 5 minutes. No excuses," the female voice on the other end made him smile.  
  
"How do you always know when I need to hear your voice?" Vaughn sighed.  
  
"Roommates intuition," was the sunny reply.  
  
"I'm swamped," he groaned.  
  
"Too bad, you promised. Look, you refused to join me for lunch, which I'm telling Doug about, and now you're trying to cancel on our grocery shopping night. No, way. You have 5 minutes to get that bony ass of yours down those stairs to the main doors, or I'm sending Sgt. MacLeod up to get you," she ordered.  
  
"Fine, fine! Let me tidy up and I'll meet you at the front in 5," he laughed. Vaughn knew not to push her when she was in one of her moods.  
  
"Good," she positively crowed in truimph and hung up the phone. He smiled to himself and thought how good she was for him.  
  
"Are you out of here Michael?" the grey haired woman looked from her desk as he stepped out of his office and locked the door.  
  
"Yup, I'm gone for the night Bette. Tell the night shift if they need me they have the numbers. I'll see you in the morning. Have a great evening," he smiled at the older woman who was his secre… er, assistant, as he blew past her desk and down the long corridor to the grand staircase.  
  
Sliding into his trenchcoat, Vaughn smiled as he saw her talking to the two Marine Guards.  
  
"Is she bugging you guys again? I can report her if you'd like," he teased.  
  
"S'okay Mr. Vaughn, she's harmless and y'know she does work for us," Sgt MacLeod relaxed at the sight of Vaughn.  
  
"Oh yes she does, doesn't she? I keep forgetting."  
  
"Keep that up Michael Vaughn and you'll be sleeping outside tonight!" Emma Brody warned him playfully. She waved to the guards and turned on her heel, leaving Vaughn to trail after her.  
  
"Oh Brody, that's cheap," he smiled and he slipped his arm around her shoulder as he pushed open the door. Standing under the awning, he took the umbrella she handed him and flipped it open.  
  
"You need to remember to get your umbrella from Jill's," Emma said, snuggling against him as they started down the stairs to the main gates of the embassy.  
  
"You need to remind me," he cracked.  
  
"Am I your mother?" she hit him playfully in the stomach. "God, you'd be lost without me Michael!"  
  
"You're right Emma, I would."  
  
The bitch of it was that she was absolutley right  
  
Ah, Emma Brody! Roommate extrodinaire! She was the best thing to have happened to him since arriving in London.  
  
Too bad she was dating one of his best friends!  
  
Emma was involved with his partner from his CIA academy days, Doug Roach. Vaughn sometimes thought Emma was too good for Doug, but seeing them together showed him a new side of his former playboy partner. Vaughn often used to think that Doug joined the CIA to use it as a pick-up line.  
  
"So what do you think we should serve tomorrow night since you're the one cooking," Emma asked linking arms with him and entwining her fingers with his.  
  
"I can't believe I agreed to host this party with you," Vaughn grumbled.  
  
"Shut up," she laugehd, "You know you're dying to show off your cooking."  
  
1 "Good evening guys," Emma waved at the guards on gate duty  
  
"Night Mr. Vaughn, Ms. Brody," the young Marine nodded his head.  
  
"Oh Mr. Vaughn did that woman friend of yours reach you earlier?" he asked, suddenly remembering the brilliant red-head who'd been asking about Agent Vaughn an hour earlier.  
  
"Friend? Someone was asking about me?" Vaughn asked, turning to look at the guard.  
  
"Yeah a really beautiful red head. Wanted to know if you'd left for the day," the other guard added.  
  
"Jill," Emma said confidently.  
  
"She took off in a hurry. Said she'd call you at home or something like that. Should we keep an eye out for her?" the first guard asked  
  
"No, it's okay guys. She'll get me at home. Night," He smiled thinking of Jill and her long red hair. It never occurred to him to think about another redhead who used to haunt his dreams, the one who stood across the street watching them.  
  
"Come on Michael. Doug's meeting us at the Grocery Store," Emma said dragging him away from the guards.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney hid in the shadows, watching, as he spoke to the guards on duty at the gate. She watched, as Vaughn slipped his arm around the blonde woman's shoulders drawing her close. Seeing him so happy with this woman hurt, but it was what he had wanted. A life away from her, and LA. Even this far away, she thought she could hear his laugh, but it was all in her head, a distant memory.  
  
He looked so good, she thought and groaned as she leaned against the wall. His light brown hair was shorter than he'd worn it in L.A., but it was still messy, as if he's just gotten up. It appeared he'd done some shopping since moving to London as well, because the trench he had on looked new to her. She had missed him so much, just being this close felt good.  
  
Vaughn and the blonde were now talking to the guards on duty. She prayed the guard would remember to tell Vaughn about the red headed friend that had been by. She didn't hold out much hope though, the kid didn't look that bright. She could have left a note, but with K-Directorate hot on her tail, she couldn't risk a paper trail. Taking a deep breath Sydney pressed her hand against her side, pulling it back to see fresh blood on it. Her mission to Paris to retrieve another Rambaldi artifact had gone painfully wrong. It had been a trap, and K-Directorate had been waiting for her and Dixon to emerge for the bank's vaults with the scroll. Upon realising this, the agents had set off on foot in different directions, with K- Directorate's guns blazing behind them. She'd gotten hit but somehow managed to make it to London. She knew she still had the bad guys on her tail. Trying to get rid of them seemed a losing battle, and turning herself into the American Embassy, though an appealing idea, was out of the question. The only option currently available to her stood across the street with some blonde.  
  
Vaughn was the only person in all of Europe she knew she could trust, but making contact would be difficult. She'd hoped when she lost radio contact with Weiss, that he'd have called Vaughn to let him know that she needed him but really, how irrational was that?! She didn't even know if they still spoke, especially about her.  
  
It must be the pain.  
  
She whimpered biting her bottom lip, to stop from screaming out loud. How much longer she could stay standing up with her eyes open was a mystery to her. She knew she was fast approaching the point of passing out and bleeding to death.  
  
Please Vaughn, go straight home so I can follow. She whimpered again. Please go home.  
  
"Come on Michael, Doug's meeting us at the Grocery Store," the blonde woman said, dragging him away from the guards and across the street toward Sydney.  
  
"Shopping?" Syd groaned. "What the hell are they doing shopping on a night like this?"  
  
"I don't know why I have to go shopping. It's not my party," he grumbled playfully as he passed within 2 feet of Sydney's hiding place. Sydney thought she'd never forget how wonderful his voice sounded and hearing him now sent shivers up her spine. Smiling to herself, despite the pain, she thought she could smell his cologne.  
  
Suddenly Vaughn stopped and looked around, almost directly at her hiding spot.  
  
"Michael? Are you okay?" the blonde asked.  
  
"Fine Em. I just had the strangest feeling is all," he shrugged his shoulders and they continued down the street away from Sydney.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter two

Title: Rainy Days and Mondays Chapter 2  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All the Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Televison., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: Whoever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance….what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: I'd o like to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie, without her this would be a huge mess! And I'd like to thank all the wonderful people who have taken the time to give me feedback!  
  
  
  
Since Vaughn and Emma had left the Embassy, the sky had opened up in a steady torrent of water, drenching them both. Emma grabbed the umbrella from Vaughn's hand, making him shout in surprised protest.  
  
"What are you doing?" he blinked at her through the rain coursing down his face.  
  
"Why bother with umbrellas? It's not like its doing us any good. It's raining so hard it's dripping right through the material," Emma elbowed him.  
  
"Well there was this one spot on the top of my head that was still on the dry side," Michael argued.  
  
"You need to loosen up Michael, dance in the rain," she said swinging their hands as the walked.  
  
"It's against CIA protocol," he smiled as he watched her jump in a large puddle.  
  
"So how was your day? Anything new on the terrorist attack?" she asked walking backwards so she could watch his face as he talked. Emma loved the way his face was so expressive. He was so passionate about his job.  
  
"Nothing as of yet but I'm hoping that with Doug back from Kuwait, he'll have something new from our sources there," Vaughn told her. He knew the bombing had marked Emma. He'd had to wake her up a couple times from nightmares. It had only been her first week when the bomb went off killing ten, including Dewey Johnson, Emma's first case at the Embassy. The man had stripped naked in the middle of the Embassy's formal front hall and refused to put his clothes back on until the American government agreed to send him home. Emma had told Vaughn about an interesting conversation she'd had with Johnson later. It was something that had changed her life. Dewey had helped her see that where ever she ran away to, she always took herself and her problems with her. Johnson told her to learn to deal with her issues before they runined her life and she ended up by herself and miserable. It was funny how that little piece of wisdom spoke volumes to Vaughn as well.  
  
"I hate it when he goes away like this," Emma grumbled.  
  
"I know, I know it's all part of the CIA agent's job…" she continued quickly when she saw Vaughn open his mouth to say something, "but it's still nerve wracking."  
  
"I was going to say that I know how hard it is to sit and wait for people you care about to come back from a mission," he said softly, remembering all of the sleepless nights he'd had worrying about Sydney.  
  
"Sorry Michael, I forgot for a minute who I was speaking to," Emma replied and then was quiet for a moment. "Michael, do you every wonder how she is?"  
  
Emma had found out about Sydney thanks to Doug's big mouth but Vaughn was actually grateful to have someone to talk to about her. Emma was a born romantic and she really loved the whole star-crossed lover thing.  
  
"Occasionally," he shrugged.  
  
Who was he kidding? He only thought about her on rainy days and days that ended in 'Y'. Vaughn sighed quietly. Weiss was right he was obsessed.  
  
"So how was your day? Anything new on the duty desk?" Michael asked, changing the topic.  
  
"I hate my job sometimes, have I told you that? And I think 'Q' hates me. He gives me all the crappy cases," Emma groaned.  
  
"What happened? Do I have to go take care of your nasty boss?" he demanded in his most intimidating CIA voice. "Come on tell Uncle Mike."  
  
God, it felt good to laugh and be himself again. The last year in L.A., his life had been filled with so many regrets and so much pain, it hadn't left him a lot of room for anything else. He had begun to forget what the real Michael Vaughn had been like. Somewhere along the way his bi-weekly hockey games had taken a back seat to sitting in his office and planning Sydney's counter missions. Gone were the nights spent bar-hopping with friends, picking up beautiful, young, (mostly untalented) starlets who'd be waiting tables in the morning and let's not forget how the yearly trip to Vegas had been put on the back burner because Sydney had to go to Jerusalem. Vaughn sighed again. At least he was living now. Emma made him laugh…made him forget about things he couldn't have and renewing his friendship with Doug reminded him of his wilder days when he knew how to enjoy himself. Despite what it had cost him, London had been a good move.  
  
"I had to deny this couple a sponsorship," Emma continued as if Vaughn hadn't just been a million miles away. "They met while they were backpacking through Europe and now she wants to marry this guy and bring him back to the States. She says it was love at first sight."  
  
Emma snorted in obvious disgust at this display of rampant romanticism.  
  
"Am I hearing this correctly?" Vaughn gasped in mock horror. "The world's biggest romantic, Emma Brody, doubts that love at first sight exists! My God is there no hope for the rest of us!"  
  
"Shut up! And yes… er, no…I don't know!" Emma laughed at Vaughn's ridiculous reaction. Vaughn lifted an eyebrow at her and cocked his head.  
  
"Well? Which is it? Yes or no?"  
  
"I do, really but for some reason this case just doesn't seem right. Do you?" she asked watching his smile disappear and regretting instantly that she'd asked.  
  
"What? Believe in love at first sight? I used to think it didn't exist, but when Sydney walked into my office that first day in her clown school reject hair, well I changed my mind. I just didn't realise it until later," Vaughn shrugged, thinking back to that day when she'd first walked into the CIA offices. She had seemed like a bit of head case at first, but there was just something about her that intrigued him. Now, looking back on that day he remembers his heart doing that little flippy thing. He hadn't stood a chance.  
  
"What about Doug? Was it love at first sight?" Vaughn asked Emma, turning the tables.  
  
"Doug? Hell no!" she laughed and then turned an interesting shade of pink. "I ended up making out with him in the bathroom on a plane…nope, not what I'd call love at first sight. More like a mild sexual attraction coupled with a lot of free booze."  
  
"You what? You and Doug?" Vaughn howled in laughter.  
  
"Yeah and the door came flying open and well… there was this line up. Why I'm telling you this, I'll never …Doug!" she cried excitedly.  
  
"Wasn't he there?" Vaughn asked in confusion.  
  
"No stupid"! she said pointing to where a man was getting out of a car. "Doug!"  
  
Vaughn watched as Emma jumped into his arms, kissing him passionately. Doug didn't seem to mind that Emma was soaking wet, instead he seemed to relish in it. Frowning, he looked away. Vaughn hated feeling like a third wheel and it hurt seeing people so obviously in love when he himself was forced to keep a distance from the woman he loved.  
  
"Michael!" Doug said, slipping his arm around Emma's waist. It was weird in London, Vaughn reflected, he was always Agent Vaughn, Mr. Vaughn, Michael or Mike, no one called him by his last name here.  
  
"Doug, how'd it go?" Vaughn smiled his friend.  
  
"Got the information and I dropped it off to be translated on my way here. Said they'd have it ready for us tonight about seven," Doug said as they headed into the grocery store, totally oblivious to the death glare that Emma and Vaughn were getting from a bag boy who'd been ordered to mop up the wet floor.  
  
"You two so did not make that kids day." Doug laughed.  
  
"What are you getting at?" Emma frownedshe hated upsetting others.  
  
"The two of you dripping all over his nice clean floor." He pointed to the kid with the mop.  
  
"Sorry." She grimace, but only got another glare in return.  
  
The three of them moved further into the grocery store, putting work behind them for awhile and concentrating on the festivities planned for the next evening.  
  
"So how many people are you guys having over tomorrow?" Doug asked as they grabbed a grocery cart.  
  
"According to your girlfriend, the whole damn embassy," Vaughn cracked.  
  
"Ha, ha," Emma said sticking her tongue out at Vaughn. "For your information, I didn't invite the night shift or the Marines."  
  
Vaughn laughed and marvelled at the sound of it. It was something he'd done a lot since moving to London and meeting Ms. Brody. There was something about her that made him want to get out of his self-imposed prison. She helped him realize that sometimes loving someone just isn't enough and that it was okay to get on with life. He had struggled with that for a long time, even after moving to London.  
  
"So is Jill coming?" Doug asked Vaughn quietly, hoping Emma had missed the question as she dropped a head of lettuce into the shopping cart.  
  
"Why wouldn't she be?" Emma asked looking between the two men.  
  
"We broke up."  
  
"And you didn't tell me?" Emma stopped in the middle of the aisle, blocking traffic so she could glare at Vaughn and Doug.  
  
"It just kind of happened," Vaughn answered.  
  
"'It just kind of happened'," Emma mimicked Vaughn's clipped voice. She was about to start a tirade about their deceitful behaviour when her attention was caught by an older woman, shooting her a death glare because she was blocking the aisle with her cart.  
  
"Go around. This is important," she snapped at the woman before turning back to Vaughn. Her normally friendly face had taken on a rather thunderous quality that had both Doug and Michael squirming.  
  
"Look, I wasn't willing to move to Switzerland so she could take a posting at the UN and she wasn't willing to stay here in London so we split up in typical Michael-Jill fashion," Vaughn said matter of factly.  
  
"You just broke up and you're acting as if it's nothing," Emma blinked up at him.  
  
"Jill and I were just playing the same old game, Emma. We do the friend thing real well but we never seem to get the couple part right. Some people are just like that," Michael didn't know what to tell her, he just hated seeing the disappointment in her eyes.  
  
"So what are you guys serving?" Doug asked, directing Emma and her cart down the aisle away from Vaughn and the potentially ugly conversation that was brewing.  
  
"Sorry," Doug mouthed at him once he got Emma focused on something else.  
  
"You'll pay later," Vaughn assured him.  
  
  
  
Sydney stood under a little overhang across the street from the Embassy, waiting for a chance to approach the guards at the gate again. She needed to find a way to get Vaughn's address without breaking into the Embassy's HR files. She noticed that the young guard was back on duty and she hadn't been blind to the fact that he had been checking her out earlier.  
  
Well it's now or never, she thought as she turned the collar up on her newly acquired beige trench coat. The blood from her wound had soaked her own clothes thoroughly and she'd had to steal the coat from a pub down the road.  
  
"Hi! Remember me?" Syd smiled at the young man.  
  
"Mr. Vaughn's friend," he nodded, returning her smile.  
  
"Yeah. Please tell me he hasn't already left for the day," Sydney didn't have to fake her desperation she truly felt it.  
  
"I'm sorry. You missed him by about an hour. He and Ms. Brody left together." As Sydney's face became even paler, the young Marine's smile faltered, "hey, are you okay?"  
  
"Fine, just jetlag," she said through gritted teeth. "Look I'm in a bit of a jam. I'm a friend of Michael's from LA and I was supposed to meet him at his place but I forgot my address book and his number at home. I'm so embarrassed! I'm not sure how to find him now and I'm suppose to be there for dinner," Syd could feel her legs starting to shake. She wasn't sure if it was from the cold or blood loss.  
  
"I'm sorry Miss, I can't be of any…hold on a minute," the soldier said seeing another man coming toward the gate in a black trench coat.  
  
"Hey Mr. Peirson, can I have some help here?" he called waving over the other man.  
  
"Sure Private what can I do?" the man smiled when he noticed Sydney standing there.  
  
"This lady says she's a friend of Mr. Vaughn's and she's misplaced his address, can you help her with it?"  
  
"David Peirson and you are?" he said holding out his hand to the beautiful redhead.  
  
Mike can really pick 'em. And boy does he seem to have a thing for redheads!  
  
"Alice Thompson," Sydney said, using Vaughn's ex-girlfriend's name, just in case.  
  
"I've heard him mention you," Peirson said, holding her hand a little bit longer than was appropriate.  
  
"Anyway I've not only left his phone number but also his address in LA on my kitchen counter and I'm suppose to be there for dinner in…" Sydney glanced at her watch as she disengaged her hand from Peirson's, "half an hour."  
  
"Well I think I can help you then," he said as he pulled his palm pilot from the pocket of his coat. "Will you be at his and Emma's party tomorrow night?"  
  
"Yes, tomorrow night," she nodded, her mouth dry. He was taking forever! She wanted to rip the planner from his hands and hit him with it.  
  
Sydney felt an urge to sit down, but fought against it. Her vision was blurring, and it was becoming a battle to keep herself upright. She swayed slightly into David.  
  
"Hey you okay?" he asked steadying her.  
  
"Yes, thanks. It's just jetlag," she smiled placing a hand on his arm. Turning slightly to the left to survey her exit route, Sydney noticed a dark car parked on the other side of the street and two men watching her every move. It had to be K-Directorate.  
  
"Here let me write the address…"  
  
"That's okay, you can just tell me. I'm good with stuff like that. Memory like a steel trap," she tapped her temple.  
  
"Sure… it's, ah 1215 Park Manor Circle," Peirson said taken off guard by her sudden interruption.  
  
"Alice are you sure you're okay?" he asked as she seemed to sway again.  
  
"Who?" She answered distractedly watching one of the men get out of the car.  
  
"You're name is Alice, right?"  
  
"Yes it is. Look David, I have to get going. I'll see you at Michael's tomorrow night. Oh and thanks!" she said, pushing off of him as the man crossing the street walked faster toward her. He was reaching into the breast pocket of his jacket. She had to get moving!  
  
"Alice I have my car. I could give you a lift," Peirson suggested as she began to turn away from him.  
  
"I like to walk," she mumbled.  
  
"Sure, well okay, tomorrow night then," David said as she stumbled down the street, and then broke into a run.  
  
"Man, Mike dates some real hotties but talk about a flake!" David laughed as he watched her move quickly down the street. Shrugging, he turned to face the gatehouse and the young Marine guard.  
  
"Hey Mr. Peirson, you're bleeding!" the guard said pointing to the front of his trench coat.  
  
"What?" David panicked.  
  
"It's not mine," he said with relief after quickly checking himself for wounds. He lifted his hand to a large blood stain on his coat and then cast a glance down the street after Alice.  
  
"I think I better call Mike. Let me know if she shows up again," David said as he began to backtrack to the building he's just left. Peirson took the stairs two at a time and whipped open the door.  
  
"Thought you left, Mr. Peirson," Seargent MacLeod said, alerted by the sudden gust of air.  
  
"Seargent, I need all the surveillance tapes from the front of the Embassy for the last 24 hours. Can you pull them for me? I'll be up in the lab," David spoke sharply as he moved to the grand staircase.  
  
"What have you gotten yourself into Michael?" he whispered to himself as he hit the speed dial on his phone. It rang once, twice, three times and after the fourth ring, the answering machine and Emma Brody's friendly voice spoke in his ear.  
  
"Hi you've reached Michael and Emma. We're not home right now so leave us your name, number and a brief message and we'll call you back soon. Oh and if this is either of our parents, remember the time difference next time…beep."  
  
"Mike, it's David. Look, something totally strange happened here so I need you to call me in at the lab ASAP. Understand? ASAP!" David said.  
  
There wasn't much point in leaving too much information on the machine. After all, this could be a matter of national security.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Are you sure we have enough food here Em?" Doug asked sarcastically as they dragged the shopping bags up the stairs to the loft's door.  
  
"Keep this up and I'll make you sit between Liz and Q tomorrow night," Emma threatened flashing Doug an evil smile.  
  
"Hey! I thought I won that honour when I refused to let you buy every piece of pastry the bakery had?" Vaughn frowned.  
  
"Hey if you really want it, the seat is yours," Doug offered quickly.  
  
"Just kidding, I'm not sitting between those two. I'm liable to lose body parts the way those two battle," Vaughn smirked placing his bags down to open the door.  
  
"Actually from what I walked in on the other day, battling isn't at the top of the agenda these days," Emma grinned knowingly.  
  
"No way! They've been at each other's throats since she got here," Vaughn howled moving aside to let Emma enter the loft.  
  
"Foreplay!" Doug nodded wisely. "Right, Em?"  
  
Emma blushed and Vaughn smirked  
  
"There's a message Michael. Can you get? It's probably the Embassy calling for you anyway," she said moving through the loft to the kitchen.  
  
"I'll get it in after we put the groceries away," Vaughn said.  
  
"No, check the machine and then you and Doug go by and pick up the translation. I'll clean this up and start dinner," she said taking the bags from him. "By the time you get back, I'll have dinner ready and the beer cold."  
  
"Are you sure? I thought we'd get take out," Doug called from the living room.  
  
"What? You don't like my cooking?" she asked emerging from the kitchen to glare at Doug.  
  
"I didn't say that. I thought you might want to come back to the Embassy with me and let Michael cook dinner," Doug said, trying to soothe Emma.  
  
"You two decide," Vaughn shook his head as he moved to the phone.  
  
"You have one message: "Mike, its David. Look something totally strange happened here so I need you to call me in the lab ASAP. Understand? ASAP.""  
  
"Who was it?" Emma asked.  
  
"David Peirson. He says he needs me to call him at the lab ASAP, says something totally strange is going on," Vaughn's forehead wrinkled in concern.  
  
"He has a descriptive way with words. Look don't bother calling him back, we'll just head over there. I have to pick up that translation anyway," Doug said.  
  
"Okay, just let me change out of these wet clothes and we'll go," Vaughn said moving up the stairs and pulling off his tie.  
  
  
  
Sydney tried as hard as she could to lose the K-Directorate agents, but her body was starting to give up on her. She knew if she kept up her present pace, she'd bleed to death before she could get to Vaughn. She needed a doctor and she needed one soon. Then she saw her chance. A double-decker bus was preparing to pull away from the curb into the busy street. With her last bit of energy, Sydney sprinted to the bus, she caught the last step and stepped up onto the platform.  
  
"Miss? Are you okay?" the conductor asked seeing her double over.  
  
"Fine, just out of shape," she huffed looking out the window at the K- Directorate agents who were trying to catch their breath as they watched the bus leave them behind.  
  
"I need to get to Park Manor Circle," she said looking up at the conductor.  
  
"It's over near Surrey Quay," the conductor said, waving his hand in the quay's general direction.  
  
"Does this bus go that way?"  
  
"No, you may want to grab a cab. I can let you off here in front of the Regent Hotel, there'll be cab's there," he offered. She was such a beautiful young woman, she reminded him of his daughter.  
  
"Thank you," she pressed her hand against her side hoping against hope that Vaughn would be home from shopping by now.  
  
  
  
Vaughn bounded down the stairs dressed in jeans and a sweater, feeling not only dry, but far more comfortable.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
"Yup, let's fly," Vaughn moved to the closet to pull his leather coat from a hanger.  
  
"Michael, where's your Diana Krall CD ?" Emma called from the kitchen.  
  
"It's on the bookshelf in my room. See you in a bit," he shouted back as he closed the door.  
  
  
  
"Evening gentlemen," Doug said as he pulled up to the Embassy gatehouse.  
  
"Evening Mr. Roach, Mr Vaughn," the solider on duty said lifting the gate arm to give them access.  
  
"You go grab the translation and I'll go see David," Vaughn said as he got out of the car and moved to the stairs.  
  
"Meet you in the lab," Doug said as they entered the Embassy's front lobby.  
  
"Pull the nightshift again MacLeod?" Doug cracked at they reached the security desk at the bottom of the grand staircase.  
  
"Some of us just aren't as lucky as you, Roach. Mr. Vaughn, Mr Peirson is waiting for you in the lab. It seems really urgent," Sergeant MacLeod buzzed them through the gate.  
  
Vaughn raced up the stairs two at a time. Moving down the empty hallway, he stopped at the CIA lab door and punched in his security code before he heard the door click open.  
  
"Don't you check your messages Mike?" David said as soon as he saw Vaughn.  
  
"What's up? It better be important to get me back out on a rainy night like this."  
  
"Do you know an Alice Thompson?" David asked.  
  
"You know I do. I told you all about her," Vaughn replied sliding up next to David Peirson. Peirson was sitting at a counter, a video screen in front of him.  
  
"Is this her?" he asked flipping a switch. The screen filled with a picture of a red-headed Sydney.  
  
"Syd," Vaughn breathed, his fingers itching to reach out and touch the screen.  
  
"What's this all about?" he said turning to look at David.  
  
"According to Private Carmichael this is the woman who was looking for you earlier this afternoon. I met her on my way out of here when she came back looking for your address," David replied leaning back in his chair.  
  
"Hey Dave," Doug said entering the lab, a file stuck under his arm.  
  
"Doug. How was Kuwait?"  
  
"Fine. Isn't that Sydney Bristow?" Doug asked staring at the stilled video picture.  
  
"Who's Sydney Bristow?" David asked looking from Doug to Vaughn.  
  
"I used to be her handler. She's a double agent for the Agency. What happened tonight?" Vaughn explained unable to take his eyes of the screen.  
  
"Carmichael thought that I could help her, give her your home address. When she told me who she was, I flirted with her, thinking she was your ex. Anyway I gave her your address and then something spooked her and she took off but before that happened she stumbled into me and after she was gone I found the blood," David said moving to his trench coat that was thrown over the lab counter.  
  
"Blood? How much blood? Christ, she's hurt and they're onto her," Vaughn paled noticably. Syd was in trouble and she'd come looking for him.  
  
"You said you gave her my address?" Vaughn's stomach flipped.  
  
"Emma!" Doug said quietly.  
  
Both Vaughn and Doug raced to the door.  
  
"What can I do?" David yelled.  
  
"Nothing until you hear from me," Vaughn called over his shoulder.  
  
Why hadn't he realised that the 'redhead' who'd come looking for him was Sydney? Jill wouldn't. She hadn't returned his phone calls since last week, when he'd told her he wasn't going with her. Syd had come to him for help and he'd missed her. Where the hell was Dixon or god forbid, Noah.  
  
"Mike, they'll both be fine," Doug said, not sure if he was trying to convince himself or Michael.  
  
"If anything happens to her, I'll never forgive myself," Vaughn sighed, closing his eyes and shaking away the image of Emma in a puddle of blood, or worse Emma and Sydney both dead on the loft floor.  
  
"It's not your fault…this is not your fault," Doug said honking his horn loudly at the slow car in front of them.  
  
"Buddy! Move it!" Vaughn yelled out the window.  
  
"Relax will you? We're a block away," Doug tightened his own grip on the steering wheel.  
  
"I can't! You don't know what these people are capable of! SD-6, K- Directorate, they are brutal, ambitious groups who don't know the meaning of life. It's all about money and power," Vaughn spit out, his anger mounting, but who was he angry at? Himself? SD-6? K-Directorate or Sydney…he didn't know.  
  
Pulling up in front of Vaughn and Emma's flat, Doug double-parked the car and the two men jumped out, racing for the building's front door. Fumbling with his keys, Vaughn managed to unlock the front door, and that's when he saw the drops of blood leading up the stairs to his door.  
  
Oh God Syd! his heart leaped into his throat at the thought of her being hurt, or worse dead.  
  
As they reached the landing, Vaughn looked up. The door to his flat was wide open.  
  
"Shit," he whispered. He wanted to call out to Emma but realised that if anyone was still in there, they'd have the advantage. Grabbing Doug's arm to stop him, Vaughn pointed up at the open door.  
  
"Em," Doug's breath caught in his throat and he suddenly understood Vaughn's panic in the car.  
  
Vaughn pulled his gun from his holster and slowly moved up the stairs with Doug close behind. As the neared the door, he could hear Diana Krall's husky voice playing in the background. It was Emma's favourite CD to listen to when they cooked dinner. Suddenly his last words to Emma rang through his brain… 'It's on the bookshelf in my room. See you in a bit'… how could those possibly be his last words to Emma? They were so common, so unimportant.  
  
As they approached the open door, Vaughn couldn't avoid seeing the blood that smeared the doorframe. It was Syd's, he knew it. Poised, with his gun ready, he entered the apartment, Doug watching his back. Vaughn noticed a trail of blood, from the hallway to the livingroom, that was lit by the lights from the kitchen.  
  
"Em?" Vaughn called, but he got no answer. A sudden memory of a picture he's seen of Danny Recht's body in the bathtub after he'd been shot to death ran through his mind. He knew theof the havoc that SD-6 could wreak, and from Syd's mission reports, he knew all about K-Directorate's penchant for death.  
  
"Em?" he called again, as he stepped through the doorway of the livingroom. He could hear what sounded like someone whimpering, but he couldn't see anyone. His eyes followed the trail of blood that led behind the couch.  
  
"Em? Em, it's Michael and Doug. It's going to be okay," he said quietly, his eyes searching for anything out of the ordinary.  
  
As he rounded the couch he found Emma, sitting on the floor holding his spare gun in her hand and holding an unconscious and bleeding Sydney Bristow in her lap.  
  
"Mike? Help her."  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

1 Title: Rainy Days and Mondays Chapter 3  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Television., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: Whoever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance…what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie! I'd be lost without her help and support. And to all the wonderful people who took the time to send me feedback…. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
  
  
  
"Em? You gotta put the gun down," Vaughn said slowly, his eyes locking with Emma's.  
  
"Give me the gun Emma," Vaughn said again, his eyes moving to the gun she held in her shaking hand.  
  
"Michael? There's so much blood," she whispered as he removed the gun from her hand. Her face was chalk white and her whole body had begun to quiver.  
  
"I know sweetie, it's okay. Are you hurt?" he asked.  
  
"No, I don't think so. She just showed up here. She was asking for you and then she collapsed. I…I didn't know what to do…I saw the blood and it was everywhere. I just needed to protect her somehow," Emma's voice was tinged with hysteria and Vaughn looked over his shoulder at Doug.  
  
"She must be in shock," Doug said quietly dropping down beside his girlfriend to check her pulse.  
  
"No I'm okay," she said turning to look into Doug's worried eyes. "Really."  
  
Emma turned her attention back to Vaughn, "I remember you telling me where to find the gun in case I ever needed it. She was so scared when she got here and then she just collapsed. This is her, isn't it, Michael?"  
  
"Yes it's her," he said as he dropped to his knees beside Emma. He reached for Sydney's wrist, searching for a pulse. It was there, but it was very weak. He leaned down to listen to her breathing, but it was so shallow as to be almost non-existent.  
  
Vaughn knew in his gut that Sydney would die if he didn't get her the help she needed and soon. He checked the wound that Emma had packed with a towel. Sydney's blood had turned it a deep crimson. Vaughn began to shake.  
  
I can do this. I've saved her life before I can do it again. She came to me because she trusted me, and she knew I would help. I can do this!  
  
Quickly, and with as little jarring as possible, Vaughn lifted Sydney's limp body into his arms and moved to the staircase.  
  
"Doug, call Dr. Carrington and tell him we have a damaged package that needs his attention."  
  
Doug merely nodded he knew the drill. He let go of Emma to grab his cellphone and began dialling.  
  
"Emma, I need clean towels and hot water. I'll be in my room," he called over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs, cradling Sydney's body against his. Emma scrambled to her feet and ran to the kitchen.  
  
"Come on Syd, hold on baby," he whispered into her ear. He placed a feather light kiss on her temple. Holding her this close was like being given a gift, but it was one he'd be willing to give it back if Sydney were bouncing around, full of life, on the stairs in front of him.  
  
"Vaughn?" Syd had regained consciousness and was whimpering in pain.  
  
"It's me, Syd," he reassured her as he lowered her to his bed. "It's going to be okay. Just hang in there."  
  
"It hurts," she groaned as her damaged body connected with the soft bed.  
  
"We have a doctor on the way," Vaughn said and Sydney started to struggle.  
  
"No… no doctors… I have to…"  
  
"Shh…it's okay, he's CIA. Your safe here, I promise you," Michael said as he pushed her back down. Sydney seemed to settle but then opened her eyes and grabbed his hand.  
  
"Had to come here…to see you."  
  
"Your safe, I won't let anything happen to you," he promised as he cradled her so gently against him that Sydney felt like she was floating in a soft cloud.  
  
"Needed to tell you…" she whispered closing her eyes briefly against the pain that bolted through her.  
  
Sydney had always known that if she were dying, his face would be the last thing she'd want to see. There was something so calm and peaceful about it but in the last six months Vaughn's face had become a blur to her. She remembered that he had the most beautiful green eyes, but she couldn't have described them to anyone even if she'd wanted to. She sighed as her eyes drifted shut. His eyes, they were like a cat's, a big, sensual cat's.  
  
"I love you, Michael," she murmured as she fell over the edge into unconsciousness.  
  
"Syd! Open your eyes Syd. You do not get to tell me that and then die! That isn't the way this is going to go! Sydney!" Michael shook her gently but panic raced through his veins and he felt as though he had ice in the pit of his stomach. She was so still… so very, very still. Did she… was she…? Frantically, he reached for her wrist, searching, searching until he found what he was looking for: a faint pulse, still beating, still breathing. Vaughn released the breath he didn't realise he'd been holding.  
  
"Carrington is on his way," Doug said quietly from the doorway. He watched as Vaughn gently peeled away the towel over Sydney's wound. He replaced it quickly with the sheet on his bed. Blood soaked it through instantly and Doug worried that Carrington wouldn't arrive in time.  
  
"Good. Can you make another call for me? Weiss. His number's on my speed dial. Tell him that I've got his package, but it was seriously damaged in delivery. Tell him we…." Vaughn stopped unable to finish his thought. This had always been his worst fear that something like this would happen to Sydney while she was under his care. But it hadn't…this wasn't his watch.  
  
"Have a repair man coming and we'll call him with a report later? To just relax," Doug finished for Vaughn.  
  
Vaughn nodded, grateful for Doug's infinitely cooler head.  
  
"Tell him to call Jack. He should know."  
  
Vaughn turned his attention back to Sydney. Jack may not have been an ideal father, but Vaughn knew he loved his daughter.  
  
"I'll let him know," Doug said backing away to make room for Emma.  
  
"Doug, can I get a hand…getting her coat off?" he said before Doug could get to far away.  
  
"Sure Mike."  
  
Doug moved into the room but stood watching as Michael pulled the red wig from Sydney's head. Her dark hair fell down around her shoulders and Doug was startled by how gently Michael brushed her damp hair off away from her forehead. He was never like this with anyone… not even Emma.  
  
"If you hold her up, I'll slip the jacket off her," Vaughn's hands shook.  
  
"Let me," Emma said gently, catching Doug's eye and subtle nod. She eased Vaughn out of the way.  
  
Vaughn couldn't pull his eyes from Sydney's pale face. Here she was, finally in his bed and she was dying. How could Weiss have let the mission go so wrong? Wasn't it his job to keep his agent safe? He should have known that Sydney was at risk! Where the hell was their Intel?  
  
"Can you get me something for her to wear? A T-shirt or something," Emma said, touching Vaughn's arm to get his attention.  
  
"Hmmm? Oh yeah," Michael said but made no move to do as she asked, instead he watched as Emma cleaned the blood from Sydney's skin. He was riveted by the dark streaks against her pale skin  
  
"Mike? Why don't you come down with me and wait for the doctor to show up? We need to talk," Doug offered placing his hand on Vaughn's shoulder. Vaughn shook his head.  
  
"I can't leave her again."  
  
Emma's head shot up and she met Doug's gaze.  
  
"I'm not asking you to go far, just downstairs. We need to figure out how to keep her safe. If she was followed…"  
  
"We need to protector her, but not blow her cover with SD-6. Why the hell didn't I think of that?" Vaughn sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe Jack and Devlin were right, his emotional attachment to Sydney was going to get her killed yet.  
  
"Because you're worried about the woman you love. It's okay, Michael. You've done it all right so far," Emma said. She disentangled herself from Sydney and walked over to him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she hugged him tight.  
  
"I didn't know I could still feel like this just by being this close to her. I can't lose her, Emma," he said and returned her hug.  
  
"You won't. If she fought this hard to get to you, I highly doubt she's going to give up on life now. From what you've told me, Sydney Bristow is a fighter. She'll get through this too," Emma rubbed his back, trying to give him whatever comfort she could. She had no idea whether Sydney would live or die, but for Michael's sake she hoped the stubborn woman lived.  
  
"Door," Doug said, hearing a faint knock from the entryway.  
  
"I'll get it. You call Weiss," Vaughn said following Doug out of the room and down the stairs.  
  
When she was sure that the two men were gone, Emma returned to the bed and sat down, resuming her washing of Sydney's side.  
  
"Listen to me carefully Sydney Bristow, I won't let you die if I can help it. You will not die on Michael, not if I have anything to say," Emma spoke softly to the unconscious woman lying before her.  
  
"Michael is the most amazing person I've ever met and why he loves you is beyond me. You don't look all the impressive lying here but according to him you're more than meets the eye. All I can say is you better be worth it. Because, so help me God, I will not see him hurt by you again."  
  
Emma placed a clean, dry cloth directly over the gaping wounds in Syd's side and applied as much pressure as she dared.  
  
  
  
Vaughn opened the front door and smiled tensely at the man on the other side.  
  
"Hey Uncle Robert! How was your trip?" He moved aside to let Dr. Robert Carrington and his assistant enter the loft. Robert Carrington had been an old friend of his father's and a frequent visitor to the Vaughn house whenever he was in LA.  
  
"Michael, it's good to see you. You remember my girlfriend Kate," he said indicating the woman next to him. "The trip was fine but those transatlantic flights are nasty!"  
  
If anyone was watching Vaughn and Emma's loft they would see a warm family reunion and nothing more. Posing as a couple visiting Vaughn allowed the doctor and his nurse to drag a couple of large suitcase behind them. Both cases were full of medical supplies. It was the perfect cover.  
  
"Let me take you're coats," Vaughn said closing the door. As soon as the door closed, Vaughn dropped all pretences and became as businesslike as he could.  
  
"Where is he?" Dr. Carrington said, shrugging out of his trenchcoat.  
  
"It's a she Uncle Robert and she's upstairs in my room. She's lost a ton of blood and is, at present, unconscious. Her pulse is really weak and her breathing is quite shallow."  
  
Vaughn lead the doctor up the stairs to his room.  
  
"Michael, there will be another woman arriving soon. Her name is Louise. There will also be a couple guys delivering some boxes. Doug, bring them up immediately," Doctor Carrington called to Doug, who stood at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"I'll take care of it Robert," he nodded. Doug had done this several times during his career, but never with a female agent or someone his best friend loved.  
  
"Good to see you by the way," the older man said as he continued up the stairs to Sydney.  
  
"Is there anywhere we can move her to? I don't think you want us doing surgery on your bed."  
  
"There's a spare room down the hall. I'll get it ready," Vaughn said.  
  
"Don't bother. There's a collapsible table coming, we'll use that."  
  
"Do you think…"  
  
"Michael, I won't know anything about the patient till I see him."  
  
"Her," Michael corrected automatically. "Her name is Agent Sydney Bristow."  
  
"Bristow? Any relation to Jack Bristow?"  
  
"His daughter."  
  
"I see. I've known Jack since the early days, like I knew your dad," Robert Carrington said. The two men had reached Michael's room and Carrington walked over to the bed to check Sydney's condition. He took a quick startled breath at his first sight of her; the resemblance to her mother was amazing.  
  
"Has her father been contacted?" Carrington asked looking at Vaughn over his shoulder.  
  
"Doug's calling her handler now."  
  
"What I don't get is why she's here at all."  
  
"Before I relocated to London, I was her handler," Vaughn's eyes had focused, once again, on Sydney's pale face.  
  
"You know about everything then?" Carrington asked Vaughn.  
  
"Everything," Vaughn confirmed.  
  
"Kate, can you set up in the other room?" Carrington directed his nurse.  
  
"I'll show her," Emma moved quickly to show the nurse to the spare room.  
  
"The delivery guys are here," Doug called up the stairs.  
  
"You boys move fast," Vaughn commented, silently thanking CIA training for its speed, if nothing else.  
  
"You leave her with us, son. She'll be in good hands, I promise," Carrington said clapping a hand ono Michael's shoulder and guiding him toward the stairs.  
  
  
  
Vaughn sat in his empty room staring at the bed that Sydney had occupied only hours ago. Emma had somehow managed to strip his sheets and remake the bed without him seeing her do it and he could no longer see where Sydney's head had left an indent in his pillow. Strangely, that bothered him more than the idea of what what was going on down the hall. It was like she'd never even been there.  
  
A cold, wet nose suddenly nudged Vaughn from his daze and he smiled as Donovan looked up at his worried owner.  
  
"Hey boy," Vaughn said scratching him behind the ear. "Did Emma feed you?"  
  
Probably while they were at the Embassy. She spoiled the little dog rotten! It was kind of weird how Donovan had attached himself so quickly to Emma. He'd never done that with any of the other women that had come in and out of Vaughn's life. Sometimes he was sure that Donovan preferred Emma's company to his. Vaguely he wondered if the dog would like Sydney as much.  
  
"Come on," he said getting to his feet. "Let's go see what's on in the kitchen."  
  
As they walked into the hallway, Vaughn looked at the closed door where Dr. Carrington was working to save Syd's life. He wished someone would tell him that it was a minor flesh wound and she'd be fine but he knew better. Flesh wounds didn't bleed like that. He sighed and wandered down the stairs. He could hear Emma's hushed voice and he headed in the direction of the sound. He was in desperate need of someone to take his mind off what was happening upstairs. He had just reached the bottom step when his cell phone began to ring.  
  
Jesus, I didn't even take my jacket off  
  
Vaughn shook his head, slipping out of the leather jacket before he reached into his pocket for his phone.  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
"It's Jack Bristow. I just got off the phone with Weiss," Jack's voice was tight as Vaughn began to interrupt him.  
  
"Uhh… Jack, is this really…?"  
  
"Don't worry, the line is secure. Weiss told me about Sydney. Is she okay?"  
  
Vaughn wasn't sure but he thought Jack's voice trembled just a little when he said 'she'.  
  
"I don't know anything yet. Dr. Carrington is still upstairs working on her," Vaughn tried to stay calm and in control as he spoke to Syd's father. He hated the way the man intimidated him even over the phone.  
  
"Bob Carrington?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"She's in good hands then. Why didn't you just take her to one of 'our' hospitals?" Jack asked. Vaughn seethed. His daughter was three-quarters dead and he still questioned Vaughn's every decision.  
  
"Because she was being followed, either by K-Directorate or SD-6. She couldn't tell me who. I thought taking her to a CIA-friendly hospital would only send up a flare for Sloane and the boys. I did what I thought was best. Forgive me if I made a mistake, won't you?" he said trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. He failed miserably.  
  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have I'm sorry," Jack said and he actually sounded sorry! Would wonders never cease.  
  
"Fine," Vaughn ground out as he tried to remember that this was, after all, Syd's father.  
  
There was silence for a moment as Vaughn took a deep breath before continuing, "I'll contact Weiss when she's ready to travel so we can arrange for an extraction."  
  
"I'm coming over."  
  
"No Jack. The last thing we need is for SD-6 to begin wondering why it's two best agents are suddenly missing and hanging out with a bunch of CIA agents in London. What I need you to do is cover for her with Sloane," Vaughn snapped.  
  
Well, well someone's grown a pair of balls since he left town. Jack thought to himself.  
  
"They know the mission went bad so they'll expect her to be in hiding until it's safe for her to return. Dixon is doing the same thing. Sloane isn't going to question her absence at this point. Have her call him when she's up to it."  
  
"Do you know what she did with the scroll, Vaughn?" Jack's voice grew cold and detached again. He was secret agent man and nobody's father.  
  
"Are you kidding Jack? She's been unconscious since she fell through my door and unlike you, my main concern is your daughter," Vaughn wanted to hang up the phone. He could not wait to get off the phone with this emotionally void human being. His daughter was possibly dying and all he was concerned about was the mission. Unbelievable!  
  
"Agent Vaughn, I know you will take care of my daughter for me and believe me when I tell you that I really appreciate it. She couldn't be in better hands. However we still need to find out what happened to the scroll so drop the righteous indignity and do your job," Jack's voice was hard as he uttered his command and hung up he phone.  
  
"Bastard! God damned bastard!" Vaughn cursed as he hit the end button on his phone and threw it, and his leather coat, against the couch cushions. He had enough presence of mind to remember that CIA secure phones weren't cheap after all.  
  
"I take it that was the legendary Jack Bristow," Doug said coming out of the kitchen with two mugs of coffee.  
  
"How could you tell? Was it my loving end of the conversation that gave it away?" Vaughn's sarcasm failed to hide his anger.  
  
"Is he really the cold bastard everyone makes him out to be?" Doug asked, handing Vaughn one of the mugs.  
  
"Worse. How such a miserable person raised a woman like Sydney has to be one of earth's great mysteries. He's so cold. It's a miracle it didn't rub off on her. All I can say is that Jack must have been really good at hiring nannies."  
  
Vaughn sat down and sipped from the mug, knowing perfectly well that the caffeine and his nerves would keep him awake from now until next Tuesday.  
  
"He's good at what he does," Doug's voice held a touch of awe even as he smirked over his mug.  
  
"Yeah, but at what cost to his family? From what I've seen and from what Sydney has told me, his wife's betrayal really closed him down. I just think she deserves… deserved more, someone who could have loved her unconditionally."  
  
Vaughn raised his eyes to see Emma standing in the kitchen doorway.  
  
"Someone like you," she said. It wasn't a question, it was a fact of life.  
  
"I don't…"  
  
"Michael, we're not here to judge you or tell you what you feel for Sydney is against protocol," Emma shrugged. "It happens."  
  
"I've been breaking protocol since the day I got my first training badge," Doug cracked, earning a snort of derision from Vaughn. He sobered instantly.  
  
"I could get her killed."  
  
"But you also make her feel safe. Why else would she have come looking for you?"  
  
Trust Emma to ask the tough questions. Trust Vaughn to not know what to say. Sydney had told him that she loved him but was it a deathbed confession? Had he taken it out of context given the situation? Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back against the sofa.  
  
"Oh my god, the car," he suddenly groaned, remembering the double-parked vehicle.  
  
"Moved it a long time ago, you were to busy to notice. I also took the liberty of calling Peirson and having him set up a neighbourhood sweep for anything that looks out of the ordinary," Doug supplied.  
  
"I forgot."  
  
"You kind of had your hands full," Emma said gently, dropping a hand to his shoulder.  
  
"That's no excuse. I should know better," he sighed again but this one was full of guilt. Would he ever get it right when Sydney was involved?  
  
"Is there anything else you'd like to take responsibility for? Maybe the fall of the Roman Empire? Or perhaps you could take the blame for the famine currently plaguing east Africa," Doug said. He and Emma both knew that next to hockey, Vaughn's favourite sport was beating himself up.  
  
"I just wish Robert would come down and tell us how she's doing," Vaughn said reaching up and covering Emma's hand with his own. It was then that a little body leapt onto the cushions next to Vaughn.  
  
"Donovan! Bad dog, get off the couch," Emma giggled.  
  
"Hey did you feed him earlier? That's what I was coming down to check when Jack called," Vaughn said looking down at the dog perched next to him.  
  
"Of course but he probably needs to go out," she smiled sweetly at Doug.  
  
Emma yawned. It was now well after midnight and there was still no sign of the surgeon or any of his staff.  
  
"Why don't you two just crash? I'll be fine here by myself," Vaughn said, squeezing Emma's hand again.  
  
"Nope, not going anywhere. I'm staying with you. Doug?" Emma returned Michael's squeeze.  
  
"Well. I'm thinking that couch over there is looking mighty comfy and I think I'll park myself on it as soon as Donny-boy and I take a walk around the block. Where's the leash?" Doug asked.  
  
"In the front closet. Thanks Doug, I mean it," Vaughn smiled gratefully at his friend. All he needed now was Weiss to be sitting there, playing with his yo-yo, telling him how strong Syd was.  
  
  
  
Two hours and numerous cups of coffee later, they found themselves sitting in exactly the same places. Vaughn was jumpier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs and Emma just kept giving Doug worried looks.  
  
"Why is this taking so long?" Emma whispered to Doug.  
  
"I'd say it's a good thing. A short time would have worried me more," he reassured her.  
  
"You're probably right," Emma said and tried to relax.  
  
"What are you two whispering about?" Vaughn said looking at the pair.  
  
"Nothing at all, old friend, nothing at all," Doug said.  
  
They bolted upright moments later when an upstairs door opened. Dr. Carrington stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him. Vaughn couldn't help but notice the amount of blood on the front of the man's surgical gown and he felt his stomach turn to ice again.  
  
Please God let her have made it through.  
  
"How's Syd?" Vaughn asked immediately, springing to the bottom of the stairs from his spot on the couch.  
  
"She's not out of the woods, but I think she'll make it. She's lost a ton of blood, as you so eloquently put it Michael, but she'll survive. We just have to hope that an infection doesn't set in."  
  
"That's good news right?" Emma asked looking at the doctor expectantly.  
  
"If she makes it through the next 48 hours, then yes. I'll drop by on my way to and from work. One of the nurses will stay until she's out of the woods and then I'll have them show you how to change her I.Vs and the dressings." the doctor nodded.  
  
"I don't know what to say," Vaughn said as he sagged back against the railing.  
  
"Here's one… how do we cancel a party tomorrow night without raising a whole lot of suspicion?" Doug said looking around the motley group.  
  
TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

1 Title: Rainy Days and Mondays Chapter 4  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Television., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: Whoever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance…what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie! I'd be lost without her help and support. And to all the wonderful people who took the time to send me feedback…. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
  
"Damn it! I totally forgot about the party," Vaughn cursed. If anyone were watching them, they would surely question the sudden cancellation of the unofficial Embassy bash. From the day that Vaughn and Emma had moved into their spacious loft, co-workers had been trying to convince them to throw a party. Finally after months of nagging the two had agreed. The party that Emma and Vaughn planned on throwing was the talk of the embassy. How could they explain it's sudden cancellation without drawing attention to them and Sydney?  
  
"We could say I've come down with the flu or something," Emma suggested. She knew perfectly well what this cancellation would be met with rumours and possible investigation by nosy operatives.  
  
"Food poisoning. You both have food poisoning. I'll fake the paperwork at the hospital," Robert said looking from Vaughn to Emma, almost daring them to challenge him. He would not let anything happen to Jack's daughter or his former best friend's son. "Seems you both ate some bad fish tonight."  
  
"That'll work," Vaughn said and smiled at the man who'd provided him with a father figure as he'd grown up. Robert had always been there for him in difficult times, and once again he was here to help him save Sydney. How the two men had ended up living in London at the same time was something of a mystery to Vaughn but not one he was interested in uncovering.  
  
"I'll take care of it then," Robert Carrington said, moving to the closet to retrieve his coat. "Michael, one of the nurses will be staying until Sydney's out of the woods. A case like hers could take a turn for the worse in a matter of minutes."  
  
"You're leaving? What happens if something happens? Can this nurse you're leaving behind take care of it? Robert please, I need you here," Vaughn knew he sounded like a scared little boy, but he'd already lost her once. He couldn't risk losing her forever, especially now that he knew she loved him!  
  
"Mike I'm a phone call away and Louise and Katie are the most professional nurses I know. They're both field experienced nurses and I'm sure they could teach me a thing or two. Trust me, okay?" Robert said trying to calm the young man standing before him. Suddenly he didn't see the adult Michael Vaughn but rather, the little boy whom for the first year after his father's death would not let his mother out of his sight for more than 5 minutes.  
  
"Sidney will be fine Michael. She's in good hands and I'll be back in a few hours," Robert said locking eyes with Vaughn.  
  
Michael sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew it would be fine but he couldn't help but worry. He'd feel better when he saw her.  
  
"Can I see her now?" Vaughn asked, as he looked up the staircase to where Sydney was sleeping the 'sleep of the heavily sedated'.  
  
"They're just moving her to your room. Give them a few minutes," Robert said slipping his coat on.  
  
"Are you sure about this?"  
  
"Yes. I'll call Jack myself. There's no need for you to do it. Go up and check on her before you have a heart attack," Robert said, patting the boy on the shoulder. He shook hid head as he watched Vaughn turn and take the stairs two at a time.  
  
"Take care him for me, will you?" Robert said to Doug.  
  
"Of course, I will. Mike's one of my best friends," Doug slipped his arms around Emma's waist, letting her lean back against his chest.  
  
Robert noticed one of his nurses passing Vaughn on the stairs. "Katie are you ready?"  
  
The woman nodded and Robert handed her, her raincoat.  
  
"I'll be back by in the morning. Good night Doug, and it was nice meeting you Emma, I just wish it had been under better circumstances," Robert said extending his hand but Emma moved forward to place a kiss on the older man's cheek.  
  
"The pleasure is all mine," she replied stepping back to let the doctor pull open the front door. He ushered the nurse through and closed it softly behind him.  
  
"So now comes the fun part," Doug said as he pulled Emma back to him and rested his chin on top of her head.  
  
"Well she survived the surgery. We just have to get her through the next 48 hours," Emma said scrunching up her nose, confused by her boyfriend's comment.  
  
"No, I mean trying to get Mike through this. If she doesn't jump out of bed in the morning prepared to run a marathon, he's gonna be basketcase," Doug sighed, kissing Emma's forehead.  
  
"Oh yeah, I never really thought about it. I just wanted her to make it through the surgery so I tried not to think past that."  
  
It was Emma's turn to sigh as she looked up the stairs to where Vaughn was anxiously waiting for the nurses to let him into his room.  
  
"You know he's not going to leave her side till she's conscious again," Doug said following her gaze up the stairs.  
  
" I know. Why don't you go to sleep and I'll go sit with him for awhile? It's kind of a blessing that neither of us has to go to work in the morning what with the food poisoning and all."  
  
Emma snuggled more deeply into his powerful embrace, grateful for the love and support he gave her. Emma still couldn't believe sometimes that Doug was standing by her side, committed to her and no one else, especially considering the gossip and fear of commitment stories that she had heard circulating around the embassy.  
  
"Thanks for reminding me. I can't wait to be the bearer of that particular bad news!" Doug groaned, thinking of the abuse he'd have to take from their co-workers, come morning.  
  
"No problem. You can always deliver my bad news if you'd like," Emma yawned.  
  
  
  
Vaughn sat on the floor of his room with files scattered around him. He needed to keep busy, but he only had eyes for the pale beauty in his bed. Sydney looked so frail and small. She appeared more vulnerable than he'd ever thought he'd see her look in her life. Louise, the nurse, had been in and out of the room all night checking Sydney's vitals and so far all seemed well.  
  
Vaughn looked across the bed to where Emma was curled up in his wingback chair. She was fast asleep. She'd really tried to stay awake for his sake, but had fallen asleep about an hour ago, snoring in that cute little way that usually made him smile. He had known before how lucky he was to have Emma's and Doug's friendship but after last night he was more grateful for them than ever. They had kept him sane as he waited for Robert to fill him in on Sydney's condition. It was not something that he never ever wanted to live through again.  
  
Living without seeing Sydney on a regular basis had been hard but he'd survived because he knew that she was alive and happy in LA. Sure he'd once dreamed that he'd be the one making her deliriously happy but happily ever after wasn't in the cards for him and Sydney. She'd chosen Noah to fill that void in her life. It wasn't easy to accept but making Sydney happy was all that mattered to him and if that meant Noah, well it meant Noah but Vaughn felt she deserved more, better than that, better than him.  
  
Seeing her like this, fighting for her life rocked him harder than he ever thought possible. He use to have this recurring nightmare where he'd find her dead, crumpled body lying in a heap in the middle of 'their' warehouse. After one of those nightmares, he'd wake up screaming her name, soaked with sweat and for the rest of the night he'd sit up sipping coffee and waiting for the sun to rise. The idea of living in a world without her frightened him beyond words and that fear would keep him awake for days on end. Who could possibly take her shining place in the world? No one could ever live up to that challenge, at least in his eyes. The way she fought to bring down SD-6, to protect those that she loved despite what it cost her personally was amazing to him. He was glad to have been a part of it because she kept him going as much as he kept her going. It was just that he had never told her that.  
  
Vaughn sighed and let memories wash over him. He could still hear her laughter if he let himself or feel her hand under his that night on the pier. He remembered her tears, her anger, everything that had ever passed between them. As hard as he had tried to block her out, she was still the star of his dreams every night. It didn't matter how far he went, he still loved Sydney Bristow.  
  
"You really should get some sleep," Doug's voice interrupted Vaughn's thoughts.  
  
"I thought you were asleep," Vaughn yawned as he said the word 'sleep'.  
  
"I was, but it looks like you could use a couple hours yourself bud. I'm headin' home to have a shower, change, then I'll head into the office. I want to see if Dave found anything on his sweep last night," Doug replied, as he watched Vaughn lean his head back against the wall and rub his tired eyes.  
  
"Let me know if he has anything. We're going to have to come up with some sort of action plan to protect her," Vaughn's eyes flickered back Sydney's unconscious form.  
  
"I won't promise you anything until you promise me to catch a few hours sleep, Mike. You're in no condition right now to be make any decisions regarding her safety," Doug wasn't about to let go of this that easily. Vaughn needed to run point on this op. He knew Sydney's world better than any of them but if Vaughn was running on empty and unable to make coherent decisions, one little mistake could get them all killed  
  
"Not till she wakes up. I need to be here when she opens her eyes. If I'm asleep I can't do that," Vaughn shrugged, not taking his eyes off of Sydney. The nagging implication of Doug's words pulled at his senses, but his need to be with Sydney out weighed everything else.  
  
"And what good will you be to her if you're dead to the world from exhaustion?" Doug said tilting his head against the door jam watching Vaughn watch Sydney.  
  
He couldn't figure out how to reach him. Michael was long past reasonable.  
  
"You may have a point Doug, but I need to be awake…I … I can sleep afterwards. If it was Emma, can you honestly tell me you'd be able to sleep while her life hung in the balance?" Vaughn asked his friend as he shifted so he could take Sydney's limp hand in his.  
  
"That's dirty shit Mike, 'cause you know I'd never be able to leave her side but this isn't Emma we're talking about. This is double Agent Sydney Bristow, the CIA's best weapon to take down SD-6, a weapon that the CIA will not let you risk because you're in love with her." Doug glanced over at his girlfriend, curled up, fast asleep, and he prayed silently that he'd never have to make the decisions that Vaughn was facing.  
  
"You don't think I know that!" Vaughn's head snapped around to face his friend.  
  
"I know you do. I'm just trying to make you see some sense. You need some sleep so you'll be at the top of you game. That's all I'm trying to get you to see Mike. Why don't you and I go and bring one of the couches up here then at least you'll have a place to crash," Doug offered.  
  
"No I'm fine here," Vaughn waved off the offer. He liked sitting on the floor. It was hard, it was uncomfortable, and it kept him awake.  
  
"Alright. I'm gonna put Em to bed though so you can sit in the chair," Doug said, crossing the room to lift a sleeping Emma into his arms. She stirred once and looked up slightly dazed.  
  
"Go back to sleep Em," Doug whispered and patted her back, smiling as she curled up against him.  
  
"She always looks so peaceful when she sleeps," Vaughn said, voicing his thoughts out loud.  
  
"The price one pays for having a guilt free conscious, I suppose. That's something you and I will never know," Doug shifted her slightly as she became heavy in his arms and winked at his friend.  
  
"If I'd known that joining the CIA was going to rob me of every good night's sleep until I retired, I never would have joined," Vaughn smirked.  
  
"Yeah but some of those nights were well worth it, Mike. Remember those Swedish stewardesses in Vienna? If I remember correctly, you told me you'd be willing to give up sleep if you got to relive that every night."  
  
"You're a bad influence," Vaughn shook his head at the memory.  
  
"Who was the bad influence? Because if I remember it right, you were the pick up king," Doug retorted, raising an eyebrow at Vaughn's innocent act.  
  
"Whatever. Go tuck Em in before you drop her," Vaughn waved a hand in a princely dismissal at his friend.  
  
"I'll call you later and I'll take Donovan for a walk before I leave."  
  
"Thanks man," Vaughn said, getting to his feet and walking Doug to the door of his room.  
  
"You'd do the same thing for me brother," Doug whispered truthfully as he headed down the hall to Emma's room.  
  
Vaughn sat down in the empty chair and took Sydney's hand in his. He looked down at their entwined fingers for a long time before he lifted her hand it to his lips and placed a soft kiss on it.  
  
"Hey Syd, I hope you can hear me. That was Doug, he's one of my best friends and someone I can't wait for you to meet. You remember you said that last day in the warehouse that there was a lot about me you didn't know? Well the truth is you're right. There's so much we need to talk about, and I'm not even sure where to start, other than to say I was ass that night. I should have told you the truth about why I was leaving. I owed you that much," Vaughn leaned forward in the chair and brushed a piece of hair away from her mouth.  
  
"Sydney, I would move heaven and earth to see you safe and happy but seeing you with Noah… well sweetheart, you might as well have shot me in the heart yourself because that just about killed me. Knowing that someone else was giving you what I couldn't…that you chose it… I couldn't stay. Loving you has not been easy on me Sydney but, God help me, I do love you," Vaughn put her hand gently back down on the bed and settled back against the chair. Who was he kidding? She may have said that she loved him, but it meant nothing until he knew that Noah was gone from her life for good.  
  
"Thought you could use some of this," Louise the nurse said, carrying in two mugs of coffee. "Mr Roach showed me where you kept the coffee."  
  
"Thanks," Vaughn held out a hand, accepting the nectar of the gods, at least the CIA's gods. The Agency ran on the stuff.  
  
"She's coming along fine, Michael. You don't mind if I call you that?"  
  
"No, not at all."  
  
"How long have you and Agent Bristow been together?"  
  
"We're not together. I am…was her handler," he corrected himself quickly. How could he have made such a stupid slip of the tongue?  
  
"Could have fooled me. It's easy to see you love her," Louise said, leaning back against Vaughn's closet door.  
  
"I care about her," he allowed.  
  
"Is that all? Hmmphh… must have misread the way you look at her," Louise mused as she sipped her coffee.  
  
"You'd think that after all this time apart I'd have learned to hide my feelings for her better." He said giving her a wry smile.  
  
"Don't beat yourself up, women are better at seeing things like that is all. So you love her?" Louise took another sip of her coffee, watching the handsome man try to find the words to explain his lack of a relationship with Sydney.  
  
"Yes I do. But with our working so closely together…well a relationship wouldn't exactly have been sanctioned," Vaughn tried to explain to this stranger about CIA protocol with out saying too much.  
  
"Oh the CIA's dreaded protocol about Agents who work together? I know that one inside and out. Before I was engaged to Brad, we had to sneak around. It was kind of exciting at first but it lost its charm pretty damn quick," Louise told him and nodded her head in understanding.  
  
"You're married?"  
  
"No, Brad was killed on a mysterious mission a few years ago. He was working for the Agency somewhere in Central America. I never really found out the truth. It was all cloaked in mystery. Robert tried to find out for me anything he could but the case was sealed Omega 17."  
  
Vaughn noticed that Louise spoke from the same distant place that his mother went to when she talked about his father's death.  
  
"I'm sorry. My father was killed in the line of duty as well," Vaughn looked away from Louise and back at Sydney. He hated seeing the sadness in the nurse's eyes. Losing the person you love and not find the answers you need to let them rest was not an easy pill to swallow. Hadn't that been what drove him to the CIA and onto a collision course with Agent Sydney Bristow?  
  
"That's horrible! How old were you?"  
  
"Eight," Vaughn flinched slightly at her question but he'd opened up this particular can of conversational worms so he should have been prepared for it.  
  
"That's one of the things I was grateful for when Brad died…we had no children so I didn't have to explain why he was never coming home. My boyfriend now, Bruce, is a mild-mannered English businessman and I've never been happier," she smiled weakly.  
  
"Does he know what you do? Who you really work for?" Vaughn asked trying to change the subject and the unpleasant thoughts they were both dealing with.  
  
"You mean Dr. Carrington right?" she smiled coyly.  
  
"Right," Vaughn nodded.  
  
"Yeah he knows. He just doesn't know about my sideline gig. I'm gonna be in the other room if you need anything," Louise moved away from the closet toward the door.  
  
"Any idea when she'll come out of this?"  
  
Louise shook her head,  
  
"Sorry, but I'd say soon, a couple hours at the most," Louise estimated before she left.  
  
Vaughn turned the chair slightly so he could stretch his legs, but still hold onto Syd's hand. Holding her hand in his made it all seem 'more real' if that were possible. He had this weird feeling that if he let go she'd float away like a helium balloon on a windy day.  
  
"Come on Syd honey, open those beautiful brown eyes for me. Really sweetie, I need to see you open them," he whispered to her, running the pad of his thumb over her knuckles.  
  
"Don't give up on me Syd…on us. I'll do it better this time, I swear."  
  
But those couple hours turned into several and somewhere along the way Vaughn found himself drifting off to sleep. The last coherent thought he had before sleep claimed him was that they had to name his chair 'the crash and burn chair', first Emma and now him. Maybe Doug had been right, about him needing the sleep and all.  
  
  
  
Sydney could feel herself slowly crawling through the layers of a drug induced haze. Her body felt heavy and her head felt as though it wasn't attached to her body. Fighting hard, she tried to open her eyes but she couldn't. They seemed to have a mind all their own or maybe it was just that her head wasn't attached to her body after all. Come on open your eyes! On the count of three, 1…2…3…  
  
In the distance she could hear music and a soft light filtered against her closed lids. She felt herself being anchored in place, but this anchor didn't frighten her. It wasn't heavy or cold, rather it warmed her to her very core and supported more than weighed. As clarity set in, Sydney realised that the anchor was someone else's hand holding hers. The hand brought her security and comfort and without another thought she knew who it belonged to. Ordering her eyes open, Sydney slowly blinked them.  
  
Where the hell was she? Nothing looked familiar at all. The room was definitely masculine in its decor, but she didn't recognise it. Looking to the floor to ceiling windows she noticed it was dark outside. How long had she been out? Sydney could feel the panic starting to bubble up through her. She thought she knew where she was, but she'd been wrong before. Where was he? She blinked through her fuzzy brain and where was her hand…the one she thought she'd felt him holding. Shaking her head to clear out the cobwebs, she looked down to her right hand. It was empty but hooked up to an IV drip. Moving her head slowly to the other side, she found her left hand gently encased in someone else's. Sydney let her eyes wander up the stranger's arm until she found the sleeping face of Michael Vaughn.  
  
Vaughn!  
  
She hadn't dreamed it at all! She'd made her way to him after all. How she'd gotten here was one big blur to her but she was here and she was safe with him.  
  
With him.  
  
God he was a sight for sore, drugged-blurred eyes! He looked like hell. He was worn out and in need of a shave but at the same time, he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen in her life. His hair seemed shorter and his face a little thinner but he was still her Vaughn. Had he come looking for her? No she'd found him… well not him, his blonde girlfriend. It was all a little bit confusing for her at the moment but she knew it would all come back to her eventually. Shaking off the ice-cold dread she felt at that thought, Sydney decided to enjoy this little bit of private Vaughn staring time. It had been so long!  
  
Need to memorize it all, just in case I lose him again.  
  
Sydney's brain screamed the message even as her eyes scanned his form. He seemed so out of it, lost in the folds of a sleep that appeared anything but peaceful. His mouth and legs twitched and he mumbled incoherently more than once. Sydney moved slightly to reach for him and comfort him but as she did, she felt a sharp throbbing pain in her side. She closed her eyes and hissed out loud as it tore through her. It was agonising, like having hot spears thrusted into her every joint and pore.  
  
"Breath, Syd, just breath through the pain. I'll get you something for it," his deep, gentle voice soothed and calmed her immediately. For a minute she even forgot the pain she was so focused on his wonderful voice.  
  
Sydney's eyes fluttered open as he dropped her hand. She quickly latched back onto it, sending another sharp pain down her damaged side.  
  
"Don't leave me," she cried out in a hoarse voice. She panicked as he tried to disentangle his fingers from hers. Sydney wasn't sure how much of the panic was from pain or fear that she'd never seem him again.  
  
"I'll be right back, okay? Just keep breathing. I'm just going to the door."  
  
His concern for her was evident in his voice and the wrinkles on his forehead as he pointed about 12 feet from her to the closed door. Sydney scrabbled for his hand again and opened her mouth. Vaughn shook his head.  
  
"Try not to talk, Syd, you've had a tube down your throat so it'll be raw. Relax, I'm not going far. Okay?"  
  
The panic had abated somewhat and Sydney closed her eyes, nodding her consent.  
  
"Katie! She needs something for the pain," Vaughn almost shouted at the top of his lungs. She was awake! She was awake and that was a very good sign but Vaughn knew that she wasn't quite out of the woods yet. There were still infections, blood clots, and who knew how many other things to worry about.  
  
"She's awake?" Emma yelled, suddenly appearing at the foot of the stairs with Donovan at her heels.  
  
"Yes," he smiled, relief clear on his face.  
  
"I'll need a few minutes with her Michael, you'll have to wait out here," Katie said as she disappeared into Vaughn's room to check on her patient.  
  
"Just let her know I'm out here."  
  
"Sure," Katie smiled  
  
"Why aren't you in there?" Emma asked coming up the stairs.  
  
"Katie is checking her over," Vaughn answered lamely. He didn't know what to say or what to do while he waited. He just kept telling himself that she was really alive and safely tucked into his bed in the next room.  
  
"She's awake…Em she's back. I just…" Vaughn's voice faded as he choked on the tears he'd been trying to hold back.  
  
"I know," Emma said taking him into her arms and holding him close as he let go all his tears of frustration and exhaustion. "It's going to be okay Michael, I swear"  
  
"Last night I kept waiting for Robert to come out and tell me he that couldn't save her, that it was too much… I honestly thought I'd lose her again," he said pulling back from Emma, and wiping at his face. He was totally overwhelmed by the last day's events and felt as if he were coming apart at the seams.  
  
The friends stood hugging quietly outside Vaughn's room, waiting for Katie.  
  
"What do I say to her now?" Vaughn suddenly asked.  
  
For the last six months he'd fought so hard to keep Sydney's memories at bay, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't dreamt of this moment a million times.  
  
"Tell her the truth about how you feel. You owe it to her and to yourself. Remember what Dewey said about facing up to who we really are and our problems? I did it with Rob, now it's your turn with Sydney. Either tell her the truth or let her go Michael," Emma said bluntly, looking him directly in the eye.  
  
It was one (of many) things that Vaughn loved about Emma. The way she called a spade a spade and did it in such a way that it forced him to face himself and the things he was hiding from.  
  
"I'd be lost with you," he said kissing her tenderly on the forehead.  
  
"It's been said before. Now go to her," Emma smiled patting him lightly on the behind and pushing him toward Sydney.  
  
Sydney watched Vaughn through a crack in the door. He was in the hallway with his girlfriend and she couldn't help but feel a burning jealousy in the pit of her stomach. Here she was very much alive and in his bed, and he was off hugging and kissing someone else. Her dream was an arm's length away and he didn't seem to want to be part of it. As hard as Syd tried she couldn't tear her eyes away from them, she felt like a total voyeur. Seeing the way this woman held him, the way he place a gentle tender kiss on her forehead, the way he spoke to her so softly, it brought tears to Sydney's eyes. She looked like Alice, total California girl, blonde, blue- eyed and tall. She was just Vaughn's type and to think he had to come all the way to London to find her.  
  
"Ms. Bristow, the shot should kick in soon, you just need to relax and let it work. Dr Carrington will be by later tonight to see you," the nurse smiled at her, but Sydney's attention was on Vaughn and his girlfriend.  
  
"They're great aren't they? From the moment I arrived this afternoon, neither has really left your side," the nurse said when she noticed where Syd's attention was drawn.  
  
Well where was Florence Nightingale when I woke up then?  
  
Sydney hated this side of herself. Jealousy wasn't usually her thing but this was the first time she'd seen Vaughn with another woman and she bloody well didn't like it! She'd always assumed he'd be there for 'her', not off having a life of his own. It appeared that said life was just 'great' too, according to the nurse.  
  
"Why don't you try to get some sleep. I'll check on you a little later," the nurse offered before she exited the room.  
  
Sydney finally pulled her eyes away from the couple in the hall, and blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill over any second. The last thing she wanted was Vaughn knowing how she felt. He'd moved on with his life and here she was stupidly clinging to the past.  
  
"Syd?" Vaughn's voice reached across the silent room to reach her. She wasn't sure when he'd returned to her side, but the familiar concern she heard in his voice warmed her heart. He still cared about her just not the way she wanted him too.  
  
Well then that will have to do. Better to be friends than nothing at all. If it hadn't hurt so much, she would have snorted.  
  
Sydney turned her head slowly to face him and she noticed he was by himself, the girlfriend was noticeably absent. What had they called her at the Embassy? It started with an E but what the hell was it, and, more importantly, why did she care?  
  
"Hey," she rasped.  
  
"Would you like some water? Katie said you could have some but that's about it for now," Vaughn asked. He could see how uncomfortable she had become upon his return to the room.  
  
"Please," Sydney nodded, looking at him.  
  
Vaughn moved went into his bathroom and came back a few minutes later with a cold glass of water, which he put on the bedside table within her easy reach.  
  
"I'm gonna have to help you sit up," he said softly, propping up the pillows behind her. He slipped his hands under her arms and slowly shifted her against him before settling her back against the pillows.  
  
Closing her eyes, Sydney cherished their closeness. She inhaled deeply and let her senses swim in his scent. Feeling his arms around her and his breath on her skin was totally overwhelming her because for the last six months she'd only dreamed of moments like this.  
  
"You okay?" he asked glancing at her quickly before looking away. How could he do this? Tell her the truth about why he left, about how he felt? He couldn't do it, not until he was sure of where Noah was in her life. She'd hurt him once already, and he wasn't sure he could risk letting her hurt him again.  
  
"Yeah," she said reaching out with a shaky hand for the water glass. She quickly dropped her hand back onto the mattress when she realised she couldn't hold the glass herself.  
  
"Let me," Vaughn said, bringing the glass to her lips for her to drink from it.  
  
"Careful," he cautioned as he watched her inhale the water, hoping he sounded concerned and not affect by the nearness they shared. Seeing her lips against the rim of the glass, he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be that glass.  
  
I'm a pig!  
  
She was weak and recovering from two major gunshot wounds and he was thinking about kissing her, having her, wishing he were a piece of stemware! He was losing it completely.  
  
"Thanks," she smiled and pushed the glass away from her mouth.  
  
"Anytime."  
  
He put the glass back on the table and then moved back to the chair beside the bed. Vaughn sat looking down at his hands. For the first time since he'd met her, he didn't know what to say to her.  
  
"So do you feel up to telling me what happened?" he asked gently. He knew how terrified she must have been when she'd first arrived and he didn't want to push her into talking about things that might upset her.  
  
"I'm not sure where to start," she rasped, her fingers itching to hold his.  
  
"The beginning is always good," he offered looking up at her, with one of those patented Vaughn smiles that melted her heart. His dimples seemed deeper than she'd remembered.  
  
"Sloan had sent Dixon and I to Paris to retrieve another Rambaldi artifact from this banker, Jean-Marc Henri."  
  
"I've heard of him. Made most of his money laundering money for drug and weapons dealers," Vaughn said leaning back in the chair.  
  
"That's him. Seems he and the Alliance were once friends, but they had a falling out. You know how it goes, 'never do business with friends or family'. I don't know what happened, but the Alliance put a pretty hefty price on his head."  
  
"He probably double crossed them somewhere along the way," Vaughn said thoughtfully.  
  
"You know him?"  
  
"We're acquainted," he said cryptically before giving her a look that told her the subject was off limits for the time being.  
  
"Anyway, Sloan found out Henri had a scroll that belonged to Rambaldi…and well you know Sloan, he wanted it. He sent Dixon and I after it but Henri had the scroll in a vault buried in the catacombs. Talk about a creepy place! Considering the banker that he is and the assets he's amassed, he had the place wired from top to bottom, but we were prepared. Marshall had done his homework."  
  
Sydney stopped suddenly, feeling short of breath as a sharp pain ripped through her.  
  
"You okay? Do you want me to get Katie?" he asked trying to keep the panic out of his voice as he moved to her side. Seeing her in pain like this made him feel utterly helpless, and he hated that.  
  
"Fine. Just thought those painkillers would have kicked in by now," she gasped.  
  
"Here. Try sitting up a little," he said sitting down gently on the side of the bed so not to jar her, and then wrapping his arm around her shoulder.  
  
Sydney let him and leaned into his warmth and strength.  
  
"Take a few slow deep breaths," he said and rubbed between her shoulder blades.  
  
"I'm okay," she whispered through gritted teeth, leaning her head against his shoulder.  
  
"Maybe we should stop this. You need your rest," Vaughn murmured as he rested his chin on top of her head, enjoying the feel of her against him.  
  
"No I'm fine, but I could use a little more water," she assured him with a smile.  
  
"Hang on," he said reaching for the glass and returning it to her lips. He watched her take another long sip before pulling back from the glass.  
  
"Thanks," she said again. She ran her tongue across her bottom lip before continuing her story,  
  
"Do you ever have one of those days when everything is just going too smoothly and you know it's that whole 'calm before the storm' thing? Dixon and I were actually having fun, if you can believe it. He was telling me about some show he'd seen on TLC about the catacombs how they're haunted and stuff. We were laughing as we got to the exit and that's when they hit us."  
  
"Anna?"  
  
"No. I don't know who it was. As soon as we stepped out into the light they let loose with the gunfire. I just looked over at Dixon, he nodded and we split up. He was laying down cover for me and that's the last time I saw him. I just hope he made it out okay," Sydney ended in a whisper. She had been worried about leaving her partner behind and she's argued with him but he'd ordered her to go. She had the scroll and it had to be protected. Now she worried that Dixon's children might grow up without their father. She should have stayed.  
  
"I don't know how I managed to make it here. Whoever they were, they were always one step behind me. I managed to make it to the ferry and that's where I lost them. I got on just as they pulled up to the gate. It was too late though and they couldn't get on."  
  
"So how did you get to London?" he asked tightening his arm around her.  
  
"This older Canadian couple gave me a ride into London," she wiggled closer to him. "I left them as soon as I could, and then tried to find a way to contact you. I knew I couldn't just pick up a phone so I camped out in front of the Embassy for two days."  
  
"You were there for two days? My god Syd, you should have made contact!" he said, shocked that she'd hadn't come to him sooner. She said she trusted him but did she really.  
  
Almost as if she read his mind she explained her action. "I didn't want to involve you. Please don't doubt my trust in you Vaughn. I know you would have helped but I was just trying to protect you."  
  
"God damn it Syd! You don't have to protect me," he sighed. Something's just never changed with her.  
  
"I do. You have a life here that doesn't include me or SD-6 and I wanted to keep it that way. Every time I was ready to make contact they found me again so I've spent half my time in London taking them on wild goose chases. I couldn't let them target you."  
  
"You almost bled to death trying to protect me! Don't ever do that again, do you understand me?" he said catching her chin with his free hand forcing her look at him. He was angry with her, at her for being willing to die to protect him.  
  
"You have a life…"  
  
"And so do you! Do you have any idea how scared I've been the last two days? Sitting here waiting for you to regain consciousness has been the most painful experience I've ever been through," he wanted to wring her neck. How could she possibly figure that his life was more important than hers?  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling her chin away from his now gentle fingers.  
  
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" he sighed. Shouldn't have what? Cared?  
  
"It's okay Vaughn. I guess I owe your girlfriend an apology too. For scaring her," Sydney said tightly as she looked up into Vaughn's beautiful green eyes. So how did he really feel about this blonde? Some say the eyes are the windows to the soul and Sydney searched for some sign o his feelings. Did he love her?  
  
"Who? What girlfriend?" he shook his head, wondering if he'd heard her right.  
  
"The blonde. The one who's feet I collapsed at," Sydney almost felt like laughing at the confused look on his face.  
  
"Emma? Em's not my girlfriend, Sydney. She's my roommate," Vaughn was stunned by the idea. How could she have misunderstood his relationship with Emma? Okay, so they were close and they did live together but a couple?! Not likely. He wasn't her type.  
  
"Roommate?" Sydney felt giddy with relief.  
  
Ah assumptions! Nothing like making an ass out of you and me! she thought to herself.  
  
"Wait! You thought….Em's dating my best friend, Doug Roach. We graduated from the 'Farm' together," Vaughn snorted. He bit the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing at the look on Sydney's face.  
  
"Oh," she smiled slightly. She was feeling pretty embarrassed and decided to lay her head back on his shoulder. If she'd had enough blood, she would have blushed!  
  
"Oh," he echoed, suddenly finding himself with nothing to say again. Inside he was crowing just a little, she'd been jealous! Geez that felt good!  
  
Vaughn had no idea how long they sat there, with her head on his shoulder. When she yawned he looked down at her and could see that she was fighting to keep her eyes open.  
  
"You should get some sleep and I should have a shower and shave," he said rubbing his chin in her hair.  
  
"Yeah. You smell," she teased and then yawned again as he helped her lie back down.  
  
"Thanks a lot," he said, ruffling her hair.  
  
"Don't mention it. I'm full of compliments today," she nodded as her eyes fluttered shut.  
  
Before he had time to think of a smart comeback, she was fast asleep. Whatever Katie had given her had taken its time to kick in, but when it did…wow, she was out like a light! Vaughn tucked the blanket around her and stared at her for a long time before leaving her to return downstairs.  
  
TBC 


	5. Chatper 5

1 Title: Rainy Days and Mondays Chapter 5  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Television., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: Whoever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance…what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie! I'd be lost without her help and support. And to all the wonderful people who took the time to send me feedback…. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
  
Sydney woke up with a start as a sudden jolt of pain gripped her hard. As she fought to breathe through the pain, all she could see was a bright, white light. Evidently the painkillers wore off as suddenly as they knocked her out because the pain woke her from a dead sleep. She looked around the room trying to remember where she was. Then it came to her. She was in London and she was finally in Michael Vaughn's bed, albeit, there wasn't much she could do about that at the moment.  
  
"Can I get Louise?" a soft female voice asked from the shadows of the room. Louise, the other nurse on Robert's staff had returned to relieve Katie several hours earlier and was working on charts in another room in the flat. Damn she'd been out again for awhile.  
  
"No," she groaned, taking another deep breath before turning her head. In the corner sat the blonde she'd met upon arriving at Vaughn's door.  
  
How many days ago was that?  
  
"Are you sure?" Emma asked as she moved toward the bed.  
  
"No the pain's good. It lets me know I'm still alive," Sydney said as she winced.  
  
What was here name again? Shit why can't I remember it? What did Vaughn call her? And wait… where was Vaughn?   
  
Sydney wondered all these things in the brief moment of silence that arose between the two women. Sydney also made a quick search of the room for Vaughn.  
  
"He's having a shower," Emma said slipping into the chair that Vaughn had been sitting in earlier. If she listened carefully, Sydney could hear a shower running in Vaughn's ensuite bathroom.  
  
"I'm Emma," the blonde offered with a slight smile.  
  
Emma! That's it!  
  
Sydney couldn't help but notice how tired she looked as she studied her.  
  
"Sydney," she returned.  
  
"Oh I know. Michael's told me all about you," Emma said and leaned back in the chair. She looked Sydney over bluntly and with an appraising eye.  
  
"You have me at a disadvantage then," Sydney replied, returning Emma's stare. Obviously this woman was checking her out, and who could blame her? Wasn't she doing exactly the same thing? Checking out the competition was a national past time among women.  
  
"I know," she smiled sweetly. Sydney wasn't sure that she liked this woman at all.  
  
"You and Vaughn are close I take it," Sydney said in her best casual voice.  
  
"Michael means a lot to me. He's like the brother I always wanted," Emma smiled. She tucked a stray blonde hair behind her ear before she looked up at Sydney, a warning clearly in her voice and her eyes.  
  
"He means a lot to me too," Sydney assured her.  
  
Best make friends with the enemy she thought mildly.  
  
"I know. You mumbled something about that as you passed out in my arms."  
  
She's smirking at me!  
  
"I did?" Sydney blushed slightly at the thought. God only knew what she had said! That was priceless! She could just imagine the world's greatest spy whispering her secrets to any stranger that would listen. Her father would be thrilled.  
  
"Yes. I think you used the L-word," Emma smirked again. She was enjoying watching this confident woman blush.  
  
"I can't believe…." Sydney shook her head.  
  
Believe what? That you would just blurt it out in a moment of delusion? Stranger things have happened.  
  
"I assume, with an admission like that, that you aren't planning on hurting him again?" Emma raised her eyebrow in question.  
  
"I've never hurt him! And if I did, I never did it on purpose. Vaughn is the most important person in my life…I …I could never… would never want to hurt him," Sydney blustered. She really didn't like this line of questioning.  
  
"That's what I thought," Emma said nodding her head. She noticed that the shower had stopped so she rose from the chair to make her hasty exit.  
  
"Louise said you could have some clear broth. I'll get it for you," Emma said walking to the door.  
  
"You know why he left don't you?" Sydney demanded.  
  
"Yes, but I think its up to Michael to tell you about it. Can I get you that soup now?" Emma smiled at her and Sydney knew the inquisition was over. She had passed and the two women would be friends.  
  
"Thanks," she answered as Emma disappeared out the door and down the stairs.  
  
Alone and conscious, Sydney looked around the room for the first time. The classic lines and bleached wood of the masculine furniture and the dark navy linens definitely screamed Vaughn. On the desk a series of pictures stood sentry. There was one of him, Weiss and another man on a ski slope somewhere and another one showed Vaughn and an older blonde haired woman whom Sydney thought might be his mother. Another picture on his bookcase showed Vaughn with a group of young kids in hockey equipment and the other table held a photo of him holding a redhead in his arms. Standing next to Vaughn and this mystery woman were Emma and an attractive man that could only be Doug. He looked like a spy.  
  
So this is Jill  
  
Sydney studied the picture closely. Jill was beautiful in a Nicole Kidman kind of way- tall, elegant, and stunningly beautiful. Sydney also remembered that she was a lawyer so she obviously had brains too. Sydney hated her and to make matters worse, she looked at him in such a way as to leave no doubt in Sydney's mind that she had loved him. What could have broken them up? They looked like they belonged together.  
  
Rolling onto her good side, Sydney studied his bookcase. She could tell a lot about a man form the books he read. Take Will for example. He was obviously a reporter because his shelves were lined in true crime books and grammar guides.  
  
Sydney was not at all surprised to see classics of English and French literature sitting on Vaughn's bookcase and she could tell by the wear and tear on each that he'd read them over and over. What did surprise her was his collection of Tom Clancy and Robert Ludlum books. Somehow she hadn't pictured him reading fiction based on the adventures of Jack Ryan and the CIA! She would have thought he's had enough of that.  
  
A lower shelf housed a collection of CD's. It was quite a diverse assortment that included Sting, Cold Play, Radiohead, The Rolling Stones, Peter Gabriel, U2, REM, The Police, Bauhaus, and the Cult. Sydney smiled, pleasantly surprised by his eclectic tastes. The thing that really caught her eye though was a stack of CD's that sat off on their own. She cocked her head to the side so she could read the titles. Again she smiled. Vaughn was just full of surprises! Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James and Diana Krall, a veritable cornucopia of legends. While the other music was an interesting insight into Vaughn's personality, this little collection of classics collection seemed more him than The Cult or U2. She couldn't get over the number of Sinatra CD's he owned! She didn't even know there were that many in release!  
  
Hearing the bathroom door open, Sydney rolled over to see a shirtless Vaughn stepping into a pair of faded jeans. His hair was wet and standing up on end as he rubbed it carelessly with a towel, the fly of the jeans was still open, revealing just a hint of boxer shorts. She'd never seen him look sexier. Who could have guessed that underneath all those suits and button down shirts a killer body was just waiting to be discovered? All Sydney could think was how much she wanted to run her hands down his chest and find out what was in those boxers…  
  
"Hey you're awake again," he said pulling the towel away to smile at her and startling her out of her less than pure thoughts.  
  
"What? Oh yeah… just umm, sitting here… quietly," she choked out before recovering enough to offer him a smile. "Have you been in the shower all this time?"  
  
"No, work and Emma's insistence that I eat something before I died from starvation have kept me busy most of the day. I swear, sometimes she's worse than my mother," he laughed, hanging the towel on the doorknob and pulling on a faded chambray work shirt.  
  
"Well if you took better care of yourself Vaughn, you wouldn't need someone to do it for you," Sydney answered. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she watched his fingers do up the button on the shirt. He had such nice, hands…  
  
"You okay? Should I get Louise?" he asked hearing her gulp with what he thought was pain.  
  
"No, no I'm fine. I need to be clear headed."  
  
I need to be able to think when I'm near you!  
  
"Don't worry about anything, Syd. Weiss and I are already working on an extraction plan when you feel up to it," he told her as he moved to his dresser for a pair of white socks.  
  
Looking down, Sydney noticed his bare feet. This was another first in her relationship with Michael Vaughn. He had nice feet, the type she'd like rubbing up against her naked legs.  
  
What the hell is wrong with me!  
  
As if he's read her mind, Vaughn tossed the socks back in the drawer and closed it.  
  
"So you're planning on get rid of me already?" she asked, trying to erase from her head the pictures of Vaughn's feet rubbing up and down her bare legs.  
  
"No, when you're ready. Robert doesn't think you'll be up to travelling for at least another week yet, and that's pushing it. We've got plenty of time. Try not to think about it," he said. He was leaning against the side of his dresser smiling that killer, dimpled smile that made her knees quiver.  
  
"Does my dad know what's happened?" she asked. She couldn't remember if he'd mentioned this already but she couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment to keep him in the room.  
  
"Yeah, Robert has been keeping him informed. I assume he'll let Sloane and Noah know you're hiding out somewhere until things settle down," Vaughn said. It bothered him how easily he had said both men's names, like they weren't the bane of his existence.  
  
"I really don't think Noah will care where I am," she said looking at the picture of Vaughn and Jill. "We split up again."  
  
"Oh. I…I didn't know that," he said. The news was pretty stunning to him and obviously still upsetting to her. She looked as if she were about to cry.  
  
"It's okay. It was almost 6 months ago now."  
  
"I left almost 6 months ago," he said quietly, looking at her in shock.  
  
"We broke up the day before you told me you were leaving. He said he couldn't do it anymore, the spying and the lying. He wanted us to disappear together but I couldn't do that. Taking down SD-6 is too important," Sydney sighed. He had offered her a chance to be free and she hadn't taken it. " I did think about it though, I mean I really thought about it."  
  
In the end, leaving Vaughn and her father in a lurch had been something that she just couldn't do. Taking down SD-6 was important but not as important as maintaining her relationship with her father and Vaughn. Letting them down wasn't an option.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" his voice shook as he asked her.  
  
"You didn't give me a chance. When you told me part of the reason you were leaving was because I had Noah…I couldn't tell you. You said you needed to find yourself… I didn't want to stop you," Sydney said. She had tears in her eyes when she looked at him again.  
  
"Oh my God," he said closing his eyes. None of this had been necessary. None of it! They had wasted all this time…  
  
"Michael! Mike!" Doug's voice shattered the moment as he bellowed through the flat.  
  
"For god sake's Doug! You'll wake the dead," Emma said and grinned as she stepped into the hall to meet her boyfriend.  
  
"Mike!" he shouted again, racing up the stairs with Emma on his heels.  
  
"Roach you're scaring me. What's going on?" Emma cried chasing him.  
  
"Doug what the hell…" Vaughn started but seeing Doug's face, he stopped cold.  
  
"They just bombed the Embassy."  
  
"What? Who? Was anyone hurt?" Emma cried, worried about their friends and co-workers.  
  
"No it was a distraction. Whoever it was hoped that we'd pull the agents assigned to protect Syd away, to help at the Embassy. Peirson and I realised what was happening and we went looking for the agents involved. They were sitting in a black sedan about a 100 meters from your front door," Doug said looking up to see his best friend and boss' face turn from a deathly pallor to an ugly shade of red.  
  
"Where are they now?" Vaughn asked in a tight voice.  
  
"Taken care off," Doug replied.  
  
Vaughn was livid! Nobody ever went after the CIA in "their own house", never! K-Directorate or whoever this was had just made a huge mistake by attacking the Embassy. Vaughn was taking this personally. This was an Embassy, a sovereign US territory and attacking it was like attacking the US itself!  
  
"We're moving," Vaughn's voice was ice cold as he shifted into his game face.  
  
"Emma, pack up a week's worth of clothes for you and Syd, okay?" he asked turning to look at the blonde's terrified face. He gave her a quick hug and turned her in the direction of her room.  
  
"Doug, help Louise pack up everything we're going to need," he said to his friend before turning back to his own room.  
  
"Vaughn?" Sydney called. The man that was now in front of her startled her. He was all business. Vaughn moved quickly to his closet and began shoving clothes aside. In the back of the closet a safe was hidden. Without pause, he punched in a code and the door unlocked, breaking its airtight seal.  
  
"Syd we have to leave and we have to leave now," he said, looking over his shoulder at her and then down to the floor of his closet. It was as if he was searching for something. He located an oversized, black leather carry- on and started shoving things into it.  
  
"Mike, Louise says it's all basically packed and that she'll have the bags ready to go in ten minutes," Doug said as he came into the room.  
  
"Good. Here," he said, tossing Doug a gun and a clip, followed by a cell phone.  
  
"Wait a minute, we had these cleaned for your mission," Doug whispered urgently to Vaughn.  
  
"Right now, this is more important. The mission can wait," Vaughn whispered back.  
  
"We've been working on this for months, years! What are you doing?" Doug raised his voice.  
  
"Time frame isn't right," Vaughn's glare ordered him to keep his voice down.  
  
"You're supposed to be leaving in a week, Michael," Doug whispered back, watching as Vaughn flipped through the vault's contents.  
  
"You'll need clothes…and a passport," Vaughn said dropping what looked like passports into his bag.  
  
"That's it?" Doug hissed.  
  
"That's all we have time for. You should up our arsenal too," Vaughn continued, ignoring Doug  
  
"I'll swing home once we get you guys settled. You have a fake passport for Em?" he asked dropping the subject of the mission. He knew he couldn't push Vaughn once his mind was set on something. God the man was stubborn!  
  
"Right here," Vaughn said patting the bag before he pulled a second cell phone from the vault and dropped it into the bag. He shot Doug a reproving look. "I told you when we moved in together, I'd take care of her if anything like this every happened. Emma is like family to me, don't ever doubt that."  
  
Sydney was mesmerized by his actions. This was not the man who used to be her handler! At some point since he left LA, he'd become this calm, confident take-charge type of guy. Sydney hadn't thought it was possible for him to be any sexier than he'd been when he stepped out of his bathroom but she's been wrong. He just had.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry." Doug apologized for doubting Vaughn.  
  
"Forget it. Any idea where we can take her?" Vaughn asked as he shoved clothes into another bag.  
  
"Not yet. They've been casing all the safe houses we have in London and the outlying areas," Doug said watching Sydney out of the corner of his eye. It was something that did not go unnoticed by Vaughn.  
  
"I'm sorry. Syd, this is Agent Doug Roach. Doug, Agent Sydney Bristow. A word of warning Syd, don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth," Vaughn cracked a smile that made Doug do the same.  
  
"Nice to meet you Sydney. I just wish it were under better circumstances," he said looking out in the hall for Emma. He wished his girlfriend could pack faster.  
  
"Why don't you go help her," Vaughn said, noticing that Doug was looking for Emma.  
  
"Yeah, I think I will. She'll be bringing her bathtub with her if we aren't careful." Doug said as he moved down the hall in search of Emma.  
  
"This isn't good is it?" Sydney asked as Vaughn continued to shove things into bags.  
  
"No. They're trying to smoke us out. We need to move you to some place safe but from the sounds of things, they know where all our safe house locations are. I'll have to call Langley when we get back, " he said, thinking out loud. Being one of the Station bosses wasn't as much fun as he'd thought it would be. He was forever worrying about his personnel; the safety of the embassy staff, terrorists, and other spies… the list was endless.  
  
"So where do we go?" she asked.  
  
"Gary's," Emma said as she marched into Vaughn's room.  
  
"Gary's! He's away until next weekend and there's nothing to trace back to us. It'll work perfectly. Em, you're brilliant! " Vaughn smiled proudly at her.  
  
"We'll hide there until we can figure out our next move," she said moving to his bookcase and shoving a stack of Sinatra CD's into a black knapsack.  
  
"What are you…"  
  
"We maybe on the run, but we never leave Frankie behind on a road trip, do we Michael?" Emma interrupted. She winked at Vaughn before she marched out of the room again.  
  
"Is this some kind of Sinatra cult I've fallen into?" Sydney laughed, grateful for a slight break in the tension.  
  
"Sort of…I guess. Em and I have shared many a bonding moment over him since we moved in together," Vaughn grinned as he watched her leave the room.  
  
"You going to explain that to me?" Syd watched as he bent over to pull his shaving kit out of his bottom drawer. She hadn't meant to admire his butt but she couldn't really help it, it was just so tempting.  
  
"Maybe someday," Vaughn said without tuning around.  
  
"You ready?" Doug said appearing in the doorway again, this time with Emma at his side. He was trying to juggle her leather knapsack and carry on while holding onto his keys and cell phone.  
  
"Just about. Donovan!" Vaughn said suddenly remembering the dog.  
  
"I'll get Donovan," Doug said slinging one of Emma's bags over his shoulder before moving off to find him.  
  
"Don't forget his leash, bowls and doggie bed!" Emma yelled her reminder. There was no way that dog would suffer as long as she was around! She spoiled him rotten.  
  
"Christ Em! We're on the run, not moving!" Doug exclaimed exasperated with her. She just didn't get the whole 'on the run' thing. She'd packed Sinatra for Pete's sake!  
  
"Syd, moving you is going to be difficult and its gonna hurt. I'm going to get Louise to give you something to put you out. You won't feel anything if you get jostled and you'll be a hell of a lot more comfortable," Vaughn said moving to sit on the side of the bed. He was trying very hard to ignore the floorshow that was Emma and Doug.  
  
"Well if we're takin' this on the road, you better give me something," she smiled nervously at him. The old Vaughn would have let her make the call but this new and improved version was all about command! She kind of liked it. It made her feel very… safe.  
  
"I'll be here when you wake up, I promise," he said softly, brushing his fingers over her cheek and pushing her hair behind her ear.  
  
"I don't doubt it," she said and leaned into it his touch. She closed her eyes, welcoming the feel of his fingers against her skin.  
  
"I'll get Louise," Emma said quietly as she excused herself, giving them a moment alone.  
  
TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Rainy Days and Mondays Chapter 6  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Television., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: Whoever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance.what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie! I'd be lost without her help and support. And to all the wonderful people who took the time to send me feedback.. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
  
Attempting to shake off the last vestiges of her drug-induced sleep Sydney woke up slowly. She hated waking up in strange places but with her job it was a 'hazard' she was forced to face. As she looked around she became increasingly alarmed. Where the hell was she? They were supposed to be going to some friend of Vaughn and Emma's but this place looked more like something out of Moulin Rogue! What was this place? Then panic set in; maybe they hadn't made it to this Gary's place? Maybe whoever it was that had been chasing her had taken care of Vaughn and his friends leaving her in the clutches of some mad Bohemian with colour issues! Sydney strained to sit up and look around the room. She almost jumped as her eyes landed on a series of wigs resting on mannequin heads.  
  
"Okay deep breath," she reminded herself, trying to catch her breath.  
  
"Where the hell am I?" she whispered to herself. She could see two doors; one must be the way out and the other was perhaps a closet? There was a large window with what appeared to be a little fire escape on the outside of the building. Whoever was holding her didn't seem too concerned about guarding this particular escape route.  
  
"Let me check on her."  
  
Sydney heard a male voice outside the door but she did not recognise it at all.  
  
"I need to get out of here," she muttered to herself as she moved to the window. She ignored her body's painful reminders of the shooting as her fingers fumbled with the lock. Her inability to manage the simple catch had to be another reminder of her drugged haze. Why had she agreed to let Vaughn drug her? She should have stayed conscious regardless of the pain! She wasn't some Barbie doll after all! She was a trained spy. Pain should have been her middle name. If she'd been conscious she could have helped stop whatever had happened.  
  
Putting all of the strength she had into it, Sydney pushed the stubborn window up just as the bedroom door opened.  
  
"Sydney?"  
  
The man who spoke was clearly shocked that she was attempting an escape.  
  
"Doug?" Sydney asked, turning at the sound of Vaughn's friend's voice.  
  
"What are you doing? My God you need to get back into bed," he said moving to her side and gently easing her away from the window and back to bed.  
  
"I didn't know.." she stammered as he helped her settle under the covers again.  
  
"Mike will kill me if anything happens to you," he muttered as he pulled the blankets up around her and tucked in the edges of the blankets.  
  
"Where is Vaughn?" she asked looking towards the door.  
  
"He took Donovan for a walk," Doug answered, sitting down on the overstuffed chair.  
  
"He's taken the dog for a walk? Are you serious?" she demanded in disbelief. Vaughn had promised to be here when she woke up and she was feeling a little put out.  
  
"He's meeting with a colleague Syd. David Peirson. You met him at the Embassy," Doug smirked, noting the faint pout that hovered around Syd's mouth.  
  
"Are you sure he can be trusted? Vaughn will be safe, right?" Syd demanded as she struggled to sit up.  
  
"You need to relax. And yes he'll be perfectly safe. There's no need to worry. David would lay down his life for Michael, just like I would," Doug soothed as he pushed Syd back down on the mattress.  
  
"How do I know that?" she said belligerently.  
  
"Because it's the one thing in all this mess that I'm sure of. David is totally loyal to Vaughn."  
  
"Why? Why do you trust him?" Syd demanded. She was not prepared to let go of this just because Doug Roach said it was okay.  
  
"The four of us, Michael, Eric, David and I graduated from the CIA training program together. That very first day we swore a pact that we would have each other's backs regardless of the reasons. If Eric suddenly showed up here as a wanted man, the three of us would risk not only our careers but our lives for him. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Doug looked her straight in the eye as he said this and what Sydney saw in his eyes gave her more comfort than his words ever could.  
  
"David can be trusted then," she said quietly.  
  
"Yes," he sighed.  
  
"So is he safe out there? Is he prepared for trouble?" she asked gesturing vaguely toward the outside world.  
  
"He'll be watched. No one will get close to him, don't worry. He needed to meet with David face to face. The stuff they have to discuss can't be talked about over open phone lines, Syd. You know how dangerous that can be," Doug said crossing his foot over his thigh in a relaxed manner.  
  
"And Emma?"  
  
"Shopping," he answered picking at a piece of fluff on his sweater.  
  
"You let her go alone?" Sydney asked rather surprised. From what she'd seen of the couple, Doug was very protective of Emma so letting her wander the streets with a gang of spies on their trail seemed out of character for him.  
  
"I didn't have a choice! Gary didn't stock up the shelves before leaving on vacation. Michael and Donovan walked her to the store and an agent has will follow her once she's inside. I know she's safe. Mike wouldn't let anything happen to her."  
  
Doug steeple his fingers in front of him and began to ponder their situation. He knew Emma was safe but he was regretting that he'd let Michael take the meeting with David, instead of going himself. If anything happened to Mike, how would he know what to do with Sydney? Doug was not an incompetent man but this was a different world than he was used to working in. Give him a group of terrorists and he'd know exactly what to expect or do but put him in the world of international spies and he was lost. Sure he'd watched his share of James Bond movies but he doubted that qualified him to watch Sydney.  
  
"So let me guess. you got stuck babysitting me," she sighed, feeling like a huge inconvenience. They'd all be safe at home if it weren't for her turning to Vaughn for help. She'd signed their death warrants herself.  
  
"Pretty much," he nodded.  
  
"And this is Gary's place?" she asked, her eyebrow raised in question.  
  
"Mike didn't get a chance to tell you about Gary did he?" Doug smirked.  
  
"No but I'm guessing he should have," she said and almost giggled as she looked around the room.  
  
"Well it's kind of like this. Gary is a cross dressing musician. He used to be Emma's old neighbour before she moved in with Mike. He's a great guy. You'd like him," Doug said lifting up a piece of long, purple hair from a nearby wig. He let it slide through his fingers.  
  
"I just can't see Vaughn and you."  
  
"Oh we probably wouldn't if it weren't for Emma. She was friends with Gary first," Doug laughed. "Big, he-men Special Agents like Mike and I have a rep to protect after all but Gary's cool and he's not gay or anything. He just likes to wear woman's clothing. He's a crazy man."  
  
"If he were gay, would that bother you?" Sydney asked. She was interested in what Agent Roach's response would be to her question.  
  
"In the beginning, yes. Hell, hanging out with a guy in a dress bothered me too," Doug laughed, ruefully this time.  
  
"Hanging out with a crossing dressing musician is another side of Vaughn that I would never have guessed at," Syd smiled sadly and shook her head. There were so many things she didn't know.  
  
"Mike's not an easy guy to get to know but I guess considering the nature of the relationship you two have, you can't expect much else," Doug shrugged. He knew from his conversations with Vaughn that the other man had regrets about his relationship with Agent Bristow.  
  
"The whole agent/handler relationship is kind of strange and in our case all of our personal and private conversations have been kind of one sided," Syd said thoughtfully as she snuggled under the blankets to take the chill from her skin. "It was usually me crying to him about my pathetic excuse for a life. He knows more about me than I'll ever know about him."  
  
"He should. He was your handler. It was his job to know your whole file but it was safer for you to know nothing about him."  
  
"I wouldn't quite call our relationship appropriate though, Doug. We blurred a few of the lines.lines that people like Devlin and my father drew."  
  
Doug couldn't help but notice how she frowned as she said these words or the way her fingers subconsciously pleated the plush blanket. Apparently the guilt that Michael had over their conduct wasn't solely his. Syd obviously felt bad about some things as well.  
  
"Michael Vaughn did something inappropriate? I'm shocked," Doug laughed as he dramatically threw the back of his hand against his forehead.  
  
"I'm serious! Somewhere in our relationship he. we crossed a line and it almost cost him his job. He was demoted, did he tell you that? Handlers are supposed to be detached, professional."  
  
"And Mike wasn't?"  
  
"Oh he tried to be professional, but he understood I needed more.I wasn't.wasn't your typical agent," she stammered, trying to explain why Vaughn went against protocol.  
  
"I know, he's told me," Doug said gently and nodded his head. He was playing with a large powder puff that he'd picked up off Gary's dressing table.  
  
"Vaughn was there for me. I. I told him a lot.I opened up to him, shared things with him that maybe I shouldn't have," Sydney struggled to find the right words to explain her relationship with Vaughn but how could she explain her feelings for him to Doug when she wasn't sure of them herself? She knew she loved Vaughn and that losing him had hurt her deeply but could she say the words out loud? Admittedly she'd mumbled something to Emma about loving Vaughn before she passed out and she'd hadn't denied her feelings when she'd been confronted with them later but telling Doug was something else again.  
  
"Why do you always call him Vaughn?" Doug asked suddenly, changing the flow of conversation when he noticed that Sydney had grown uncomfortable.  
  
"I don't know. It's just always felt right. In LA, everyone calls him by his last name." she shrugged, smiling as her voice trailed into silence.  
  
"You've never called him Michael?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Weird. Here, he's anything but plain old Vaughn," Doug said and examined the powder-puff one last time before tossing it onto the dressing table. It raised a cloud of talc as it landed with a soft whoosh.  
  
"So how long have you two known each other?" Sydney asked.  
  
"Sometimes it feels like forever but it's only been since the academy. Mike and I are both only children so he's the closest thing to a brother I have."  
  
"Dave and Eric don't fall into that category?" she asked gently.  
  
"Oh sure they do but I thought we were just talking about Mike," Doug's forehead wrinkled in confusion.  
  
"We are. I'm just teasing Doug," Syd smiled at him.  
  
"Ah you're playing with me. Not nice," he groaned picking up a silk scarf and flinging it at her. As it drifted to the floor well short of its target, Sydney began to giggle.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"A woman who's not only beautiful but knows how to dish it out as well! Ah yes, a woman after my own heart. I can see why Mike thinks you're so special," Doug said but stopped abruptly and looked at Sydney. How could he have been so stupid! Mike will kill him when he found out about that little slip!  
  
"It's okay, Doug. I know he cares about me. We're friends," she smiled awkwardly. They drifted into an awkward silence. Sydney twisted the blankets in her fingers and Doug tried to force the redness of his mistake from his cheeks.  
  
"So tell me about you and Emma," Syd said suddenly, turning the tables.  
  
"We meet on the plane on her way over here."  
  
"Love at first sight?"  
  
"That's not exactly what I'd call it," he said carefully.  
  
"What then?"  
  
"How about lust with potential?"  
  
"Doug!" Sydney exclaimed laughing out loud and wincing in pain.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, guess I shouldn't be laughing so much," she gasped. Doug watched her for a moment to make sure she was okay and when Syd waved her hand at him, he nodded and continued the story.  
  
"Honestly, when I first met Emma the last thing I thought I wanted was a relationship but she helped me become a better person. The more time I spent with her, the more I found that I didn't want her as another notch on my bedpost. I actually liked her and I was always seemed to be there when she needed someone."  
  
"Coincidence?" Sydney cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"Not really. It was just that I really enjoyed being with her. She's different. I wanted to be there for her," Doug had a really hard time admitting these things, mostly because he loved the aloof playboy image that he'd swaggered around the Embassy with but loving Emma had done away with that.  
  
"Sort of like Vaughn and I."  
  
"Sort of. As hard as I tried to convince myself, and her, that I couldn't handle a relationship and my life as a CIA operative, the more I failed," he said looking Sydney in the eye.  
  
"So you fell hard," Sydney didn't ask him, she told him.  
  
"Oh yeah. Head first, ass over tea kettle," Doug smirked at her but the moment was cut short as they heard the front door fly open and crash into the wall.  
  
"Hey can I get some help here guys?!" Emma called as the door crashed again.  
  
"Christ Emma! You scared the hell out of us!" Doug yelled back, as he jumped up and raced down the hall to help his girlfriend.  
  
"Close the door before Donnie gets out," Emma ordered.  
  
"Mike and Donovan aren't back yet."  
  
"What do you mean they aren't back? They should have been back ages ago. I saw him with David in the park. He said they'd only be a few minutes and on my way back from the store I went by the park and they were gone," Emma stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face Doug which made him crash into her. Her face was stark white.  
  
"Damn it Em, will you not do that! I thought we talked about this! It's not a good habit, honey. I always end up walking into." Doug grabbed at her arm as his weight knocked her off balance but his triad ended when he saw the look on her face. Could Emma be right? Could Vaughn be in trouble?  
  
"No Emma. It is highly unlikely and Vaughn is too smart for that. He wouldn't be dumb enough to get caught," he said, reading her expression.  
  
"Well what if he is in trouble? And what about Donovan?"  
  
"Honey, Michael is a trained CIA operative. He knows how to take care of himself and Donovan is so ugly that no one in his right mind would bother with the little runt," Doug said, trying to make Emma laugh. His ploy failed miserably as she was too worried about Michael by this point to find the humour in anything.  
  
"But what if something has happened to him," she said as she followed Doug into the small kitchen with more grocery bags.  
  
"Em look, he's fine, so relax. Knowing him, he probably got caught up in some other business with Dave. The last thing we need is Sydney getting all worried about Mike," Doug warned as he put his bags down on the counter. He took Emma's bags from her and put them beside the others. When both their arms were empty, Doug wrapped his arms around Emma's waist and pulled her to him.  
  
"It's okay. Relax," he said again.  
  
"I'll try," she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
"Why don't we get this stuff put away and we'll go hang out with Sydney until Mike gets back," Doug suggested as he slowly rocked them back and forth, his finger massaging her lower back.  
  
"We can do that but could you kiss me first before we do anything else?" she whispered against his neck.  
  
"I can do that," he said softly, catching her lips in a soft, delicate kiss that quickly had the room temperature rising faster than either of them was prepared for.  
  
"Why is it that even the simplest kiss with you melts my shorts?" Doug asked her, resting his forehead against hers.  
  
"I thought that only happened when I kissed you," Emma answered, rubbing her nose against his.  
  
"You know I love you right?" he asked suddenly, catching her slightly off guard.  
  
"I never doubted it for a minute baby," she said easily, as if he'd merely asked her if the world would still be rotating around the sun come morning.  
  
"Shouldn't you tell me that you love me too?" he said with feigned hurt and disgust.  
  
"Oh I don't love you, I'm just using you. I'm actually waiting for Charlie to leave Camilla for me," she teased.  
  
"Oh so you see yourself as the next Princess of Wales do you?" he nipped her neck.  
  
"Well I won't get a title like that by dating a CIA agent, now will I?" she giggled as he licked her neck where he'd bit her.  
  
"Doug!" she laughed again pushing him away from her.  
  
"What?" he asked giving her his most innocent look.  
  
"Go keep Sydney company!" She shoved him out of the kitchen.  
  
"No one will know if we." he persisted.  
  
"Go.Sydney.now!" she kicked him softly in the ass as he passed her.  
  
"You're no fun. Maybe Sydney will play with me?" he grumbled as he wandered down the hall.  
  
"Keep that up and you'll be sleeping with da fishes," Emma threatened in her best gangster voice.  
  
"Ya really scarin' me Frankie," he hollered back, laughing off her threat.  
  
"Best sleep with one eye open big man!" She warned him, hitting him in the back with a throw pillow she'd picked up off the sofa.  
  
  
  
Sydney listened to the conversation between Doug and Emma carefully. Could Vaughn really be missing, as Emma feared? Or had work delayed him as Doug had surmised? Sydney refused to let herself believe something had happened to him. Doug had pointed out that Vaughn was a trained CIA agent therefore he would be fine.  
  
"Wasn't his father a trained CIA field officer when your mother killed him?" asked a little voice in her head.  
  
"Shut up," she growled quietly and closed her eyes to block out the vision of Vaughn and David lying in some seedy London alley, full of bullet holes.  
  
"Syd? You sleeping, Syd?" Doug called softly, just in case she was asleep; the last thing he wanted was to wake her.  
  
"No, just thinking," she answered, afraid to open her eyes and see that image again.  
  
"You didn't hear Em and I."  
  
"I did actually," she said, her eyes now open and locked on Doug.  
  
"Look, Em has a tendency to worry sometimes. She's probably just overreacting," Doug tried to explain but he knew that Sydney understood this world much better than Emma ever could.  
  
"Is he normally this late?" she asked, starting to formulate a plan for finding Vaughn in her head.  
  
"Well no, but."  
  
"Have you tried calling his or David's cellphone?" Sydney asked.  
  
Doug frowned and shook his head.  
  
"I wasn't really worried until Emma started freakin out. I..she can overact and Vaughn. she's always worried about him for one reason or another. I'm just not really sure he'd appreciate us checking up on him."  
  
"Then let me do it for you. Give me his cell number," Sydney demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Look we could be worrying for."  
  
"Doug I know these people. You have no idea what they are capable of," she interrupted him quietly. She didn't want Emma to hear their conversation.  
  
"And if he doesn't answer?" Doug asked before momentarily leaving the room. He came back in with his own cellphone and hit speed-dial. When the connection was made he handed the phone to Sydney.  
  
"Then we worry," she said counting the rings.  
  
"You've reached Michael. I'm sorry I'm not available at the moment but leave me a message at the sound of the beep and I'll be happy to return your call as soon as possible. If it's urgent you can contact my 24 hour number at." and Vaughn's voice went on listing a London based number.  
  
"He's leaving a number," Sydney said hopefully, looking to Doug.  
  
"That's the Embassy's CIA office number he's leaving but we can't call there in case they have a tap on the lines. I'll try Dave's," Doug said, as he took the phone back from Sydney and punched in another number.  
  
Sydney sat in tense silence, waiting for Doug to say something but he remained silent for a while before hitting the disconnect button. She didn't like the look she read in his eyes. There could have been a million reasons why Vaughn hadn't answered but David as well? No, this was not good, not good at all.  
  
"So do we worry now?" she asked.  
  
"We worry now," Doug said grimly.  
  
TBC 


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Rainy Days and Mondays Chapter 7  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Television., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: Whoever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance.what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie! I'd be lost without her help and support. And to all the wonderful people who took the time to send me feedback.. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
  
Two hours later there was still no sign of Vaughn. Doug had called the office and his apartment looking for David, but it appeared that Agent Peirson was missing as well. Sydney called LA to see if Weiss or her father had heard from Vaughn, but both knew nothing. Jack had agreed to call in a few 'markers' to see if anyone in the community knew of Vaughn's where about but they'd heard nothing from him yet. Sydney and Emma were on pins and needles, hoping and praying that Jack Bristow would call them with something. Sitting in Gary's spare room, the group huddled together absentmindedly playing gin and trying to keep their minds off of their missing friend.  
  
"Doug, try the office again. See if they've heard from either of them," Emma leaned into Doug's side.  
  
"You're just trying to peek at me cards Brody," Doug accused, wanting nothing better than to do just that but they had decided to keep phone traffic to a minimum in case the people hunting Sydney were trying to triangulate their position.  
  
"Are you calling me a cheat?" Emma pushed away from Doug, clearly shocked by her boyfriend's accusation.  
  
"I am. I know you and you'll do anything to win," Doug said and ducked as a purple wig came flying at him  
  
"It appears she has a bit of a temper too," Sydney cracked, loving them for the way they were both trying to keep her mind off Vaughn. She knew they were just as worried about him as she was.  
  
"You call that a temper? You ain't seen nothing yet!"  
  
"He's really afraid of me," Emma whispered conspiratorially to Sydney.  
  
"Are you two always like this?" Sydney asked, shaking her head at the pair.  
  
"No not.." Doug began but didn't get a chance to finish as a cellphone began to ring in the livingroom.  
  
"Whose phone is that?" Doug asked as his was sitting on the bedside table.  
  
"It's mine!" Emma said springing from the bed and racing out to the living room for it.  
  
"Michael?" Emma said as soon as she answered.  
  
"No Em, it' Jill," answered a feminine voice that definitely was not Vaughn's.  
  
"Oh. hi," Emma said surprised. She shook her head at Doug as she followed him back toward the bedroom.  
  
"Is everything okay? I heard about the bombing at the Embassy. It's all over the news here in Paris. Is Michael okay?"  
  
"Paris? What are you doing in Paris?" Emma asked, hoping to keep Jill away from asking about Michael again.  
  
"Fishing rights agreement with the French government," Jill's cool voice replied.  
  
"Fishing rights? Wow that sounds interesting," Emma said, struggled for something to say. They had agreed that the fewer people that knew the truth about Sydney, the easier it would be to contain the risk of exposure.  
  
"Emma, look, I know I've been a bitch since Michael and I broke up but I. I just wanted to make sure he was okay. and you and Doug too of course. I tried to reach you at the house and at the Embassy and when I couldn't well...well I started to worry. I would never in a million years be able to forgive myself if something happened to him and we were still angry at each other," Jill babbled on. "I was so angry with him last time we spoke and I've been so mad and hurt. I haven't returned any of his calls or anything.."  
  
"Jill, Jill, please!" Emma tried to interrupt her but Jill went on and on without listening. She was on a roll and nothing could stop the venting. Emma couldn't really blame her. She knew Jill and Michael loved each other but they were both to career focused to make their relationship work. Jill wanted to make a name for herself. She dreamed of having a life in the diplomatic corps and the job in Geneva was another step toward the ambassadorial appointment she wanted. Michael was now on the CIA's fast track since moving to London and he wasn't prepared to give it up and walk away from it all. Emma secretly wondered how much of his refusal to follow Jill had to do with the woman that shown up on their doorstep a few days ago.  
  
"I love him Em, I'd die if something happened to Michael and maybe I should have been more mature about this but I just thought he'd come with me to Switzerland. When he turned me down. I just freaked! Em if he's dead and I didn't."  
  
The tears she heard in Jill's voice as she spoke startled Emma. Jillian Scott was not the type of woman who cried easily and she generally laughed at those who did.  
  
"JILL! Jill, listen to me. Michael isn't dead," Emma interrupted more forcefully this time. She had to put Jill out of her misery.  
  
"He's not?"  
  
"No, he's not."  
  
"Can I speak to him then?" Jill asked, relief ringing in her voice even as she sniffled delicately.  
  
"I'm sorry Jill but he's not here right now," Emma said and looked over at Doug and Sydney in a mild panic.  
  
"Where is he? I've been calling his phone non-stop since I heard and there's no answer. This is just so like him! Always more concerned about everyone else than me and I'll tell you another thing Emma." Jill went off on another rant but this time about Vaughn's inability to think of her. "It drives me crazy that he just ignores everyone in his life as soon as a case comes up, well except for you that is. He always seemed able to let you know what was going on."  
  
Emma sighed as she looked at Doug and Sydney and rolled her eyes. This was about to take a nasty turn.  
  
"Look Jill, he's not here and I'm not sure where he is right now."  
  
"What do you mean you're not sure? This isn't like Michael. He never just disappears. He's usually in his office or the lab but he never just disappears Emma," Jill's voice dropped to an icy whisper, her anger forgotten. The fear in Jill's voice only made Emma's grow.  
  
"He took Donovan for a walk almost 5 hours ago and he hasn't come back," Emma cringed as she said the words out loud. She wasn't sure if it was because she didn't want to admit the possibilities or because she was preparing herself for Jill's reaction.  
  
"Have you checked with Doug or the Embassy?"  
  
"Of course I have! No one has heard from him. Besides he's supposed to be off on sick leave."  
  
"What is he doing walking Donovan if he's sick? Christ Emma! What the hell's going on? I know you're not telling me the whole truth.."  
  
It was then that Jill's intuition decided to kick in. She knew they were holding something back from her and she hadn't worked her way to the top of the legal ladder by being stupid.  
  
"Jill maybe it's better if you don't know everything. He's.he's been protecting another agent."  
  
"You mean Sydney, don't you Emma?" Jill spat out. Jill had never met the woman but she still hated her, hated what she'd done to Michael and how she'd changed him without even knowing it. It drove Jill insane that he'd loved her. It was Jill's honest opinion that Sydney Bristow was the wedge that kept her and Michael apart. He'd never let go of her.  
  
"Yes, Jill, it is Sydney that he's protecting," Emma looked at Doug and Sydney and shrugged helplessly as Doug made cutting motions with his hand. Emma wanted to tell him that she would like nothing better than to get off the phone with Jill but could do nothing at the moment.  
  
"Why he insists on letting that bitch ruin his life is beyond me," Jill's worry turned into anger before Emma could change gears and defend, not only Sydney, but Michael as well.  
  
"Alright Jill that's enough." Emma began.  
  
"I begged him to leave that part of his life behind. He could do anything, he's so smart but no, it was always about her!" Jill continued her tirade.  
  
"Jill I absolutely will not sit here and let you attack him or Sydney so when you have something constructive and helpful to say call me back," Emma raised her voice slightly. When it came to Michael, Emma turned into the proverbial mother lion and no one bad-mouthed her boy.  
  
"Em.I'm sorry," Jill apologized quickly, realising she'd more than over stepped her boundaries and was about to lose her source of information.  
  
Emma sighed again.  
  
"Look Jill I have to go. I want to keep this line open in case Michael calls. When we hear from him I'll let you know, I promise," Emma said in her coldest voice. She couldn't deal with this right now, not with him missing and most definitely not with Sydney sitting in the same room.  
  
"Sure. Just let me know and please ask him to call me when he gets home," Jill's voice had softened considerably.  
  
"I will. I'll talk to you later," Emma started to hang up.  
  
"Emma?" Jill's voice held a note of desperation and Emma closed her eyes. It was horrible hearing this strong woman crumble because the man she loved was missing. It was easier for Jill to walk around angry with Vaughn than it would be for her to mourn him. Loving Michael Vaughn and losing him was not easy. Emma only had look at Sydney for evidence of that.  
  
"What?" Emma asked.  
  
"He'll come home. He always does," Jill whispered before the line went dead.  
  
Emma disconnected the phone and looked up to meet Doug and Sydney's inquisitive stares. How stupid had she been to have this conversation with Jill in front of Sydney. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!  
  
"So let me guess Mike isn't off visiting Jill?" Doug asked seeing the look on his girlfriend's stricken face.  
  
"No. She's in Paris, on government business. If it hadn't been for the bombing making the international news, she wouldn't have bothered with him," Emma said and ran a hand through her hair. They were running out of ideas, out of leads and out of hope. Where was he?  
  
"What about your dad?" Doug turned back to Sydney.  
  
"He said he'd call if he found out anything," Sydney also ran a shaking hand through her tangled hair. It was all her fault that Vaughn was missing. If she'd just contacted SD-6 or Weiss and asked them for help instead of going to Vaughn. Why had she been so naïve as to think they wouldn't go after him to get to her? She should have known better.  
  
"So we sit and wait then," Emma said, hugging Doug to her. Doug stiffened as he heard something downstairs. Quickly he disentangled himself from Emma and reached behind for his gun and holster. Pulling the gun out of the holster, he threw it on the bed next to Sydney.  
  
"Stay here and use it if you have to," he said sharply to Sydney before he moved out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.  
  
Sydney looked at Emma and knew before the blonde did that she would be following her boyfriend out of the room.  
  
"Emma? Don't. Just stay here," Sydney called to her.  
  
"I can't let him do this alone," Emma whispered back before she opened the door and slipped into the hall. Emma had no idea what she could do to help but if Doug needed any, she was damn well going to be there!  
  
"Emma!" Sydney whispered urgently, but was shut off by the closing of the bedroom door.  
  
She's gonna get herself killed.  
  
Groaning Sydney pulled back the covers and struggled to her feet. There was no way she was going to let Emma and Doug face this on their own. These people wanted her and she'd give herself up freely to ensure Doug and Emma's safety. She'd consider giving them her first 10 children if they would tell her that Vaughn was all right.  
  
Moving toward the door as quickly as she could, Sydney leaned against the wall for balance. As she pulled the door open, she brought the gun up, poised to shoot. She would have their backs in this fight. There was no way she would let them do this alone. Sydney gasped as pain lanced her side, serving to remind her that she was the cause of this mess in the first place. All she could think was that there would be more blood on her hands if 'they' had found them. It was her fault and no one else's.  
  
Doug moved quietly toward the front door turning when he heard a noise behind him. The two women were standing behind him at staggered points in the dark hallway. He couldn't believe that they'd both followed him. Hadn't he told them to sit tight? Emma, he knew, had a mind of her own and he wasn't all that surprised to see her behind him but he thought Sydney would know better. Just then he saw and heard the door open.  
  
"Move and I'll shoot," Doug's voice growled, breaking the silence blanketing them.  
  
"Doug, don't leave me standing out here in the hall," Michael laughed, thinking his friend's threat was a joke.  
  
"Mike?" Doug flipped the safety back on the barrel and tucked his second gun into the back of his jeans.  
  
"Who else would it be?" Vaughn cracked. The small hallway was bathed in light as Michael found and flicked the light switch to 'on'. All three of them sighed in unison as they realized that a very alive and momentarily healthy Michael Vaughn and Donovan stood before them.  
  
"Michael!" Emma shouted, racing to him and throwing her arms around him.  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney whispered in relief, her trembling hand covering her mouth.  
  
"Emma, I'm okay. Geez, what is with you people?" Michael laughed, hugging the blonde to him.  
  
"You're fine?" Emma demanded, pulling back from him. She began to pat him, looking for blood or bruises.  
  
"I'm fine," he nodded his head, pushing her away gently.  
  
"Then don't ever! And I do mean ever do that to us again!" she snapped angrily at him, hitting him in the chest twice.  
  
"I'm sorry! David and I just got side-tracked," Michael apologized, fending off her attack.  
  
"Side-tracked! Christ Mike! We've been looking all over for the two of you. What were you thinking? Jack Bristow is checking sources to see if anyone knows anything about you," Doug exclaimed, pulling Emma off of Vaughn.  
  
"I know and I'm sorry but David and I needed to straighten out somethings with Langley so we." Vaughn started to explain until he saw Sydney slump heavily against the wall for support.  
  
"Syd you should be in bed," he said moving to her side and forgetting completely about the explanation he'd been in the middle of making.  
  
"You're safe," Sydney whispered, her arms immediately wrapping around his neck as he bent to pick her up.  
  
"I'm safe. I'm fine baby, I'm fine," he cooed to her as her warm tears fell against the column of his neck.  
  
"I was so.so scared.I. I thought." she sobbed her heart out clinging to him for dear life.  
  
"I know. Syd, I'm sorry," Vaughn's soft voice caressed her as he gently rocked her in his arms like he would a small child.  
  
"If I.I lost you.I don't know what.what I'd do," she pulled her head off his shoulder so their eyes could meet.  
  
"Mike, you had us all worried to shit. Didn't you even think for a second that calling would have set us all at ease?" Doug was beginning to sound slightly pissed as he spoke.  
  
"I would have called if Tate hadn't taken my phone away," Vaughn spat out angrily.  
  
"Tate was there?" Doug's shocked voice caused both women to look at him, and then turn to look at Vaughn.  
  
"Whose Tate?" Sydney sniffed, noticing the look of disgust on both Vaughn and Doug's faces as they mentioned the name.  
  
"Why don't we get you settled back into bed and I'll tell you all about it," Vaughn offered, shifting Sydney's weight in his arms.  
  
"No take me into the living room please. There's more room in there. We'd have to hang you from the light fixture if we tried to get anyone else in that room," Sydney cracked. In truth she was dying for a change of scenery. The bedroom walls were closing in on her.  
  
"I'll get her pillows and a blanket. Don't start without me," Emma ordered as she disappeared back down the hall toward the spare room.  
  
"Tate is in on this?" Doug hissed in Vaughn's ear.  
  
"Yeah. It seems that Langley found out Sydney was missing and you know what Tate is like. He just had to be in on it."  
  
Sydney did not miss the obvious anger in Vaughn's voice or the sudden tension in his body as he and Doug discussed this Tate person.  
  
"Here we go," Vaughn said as Emma entered the room with a stack of pillows and two throws. He held Sydney firmly in his arms as he waited for Emma to make up the couch.  
  
"Do you want more pillows?" Emma asked as Vaughn lowered her onto the couch.  
  
"I'm fine Emma, thanks," Sydney, flashing a quick smile in Emma's direction, reached for Vaughn's hand at the same time.  
  
"So I'll ask again: who is Tate?" Sydney demanded giving Vaughn's hand a gentle tug.  
  
Michael sat down on the floor beside Sydney and looked at Doug for help.  
  
"Robert Tate is my boss," Vaughn said tightly, pursing his lips in annoyance and shaking his head.  
  
"I thought you reported to the Ambassador," Sydney said, confused by this new information.  
  
"I do but I also report to Tate at Langely. He's this bureaucratic paper pusher who has done nothing but ride the coat tails of other agents to his lofty position in the agency. Ask you're father about him sometime, he's a legend," Vaughn said acidly as he leaned back against the armchair, his fingers entwined with Sydney's. Vaughn studied their hands for a moment; god it felt good to simply hold her hand like this and tell her about his shitty day.  
  
"The man has permanently stained lips from all the asses he's kissed," Doug snorted, earning a laugh from Vaughn.  
  
"No doubt."  
  
"So why is it such a shock to see him here then?" Emma asked snuggling into Doug on the love seat.  
  
"Because the man never, and I mean never, goes into the field," Doug explained to his girlfriend.  
  
"It's a miracle he made it past his probationary period. His incompetence is mammoth!" Vaughn nodded.  
  
"So what's he doing here?" Emma asked again.  
  
"I don't know. Dave and I were in the park walking Donovan and next thing I know this huge black limo pulls up and the door opens."  
  
"Nothing like being inconspicuous," Doug laughed.  
  
"Exactly! Anyway the door opens up and Tate yells at us to get in. Hour and a half later we're sitting in some beachside café in Brighton."  
  
"Oh that little place the agency use as a drop zone?"  
  
"One and the same."  
  
"So let me see if I've gotten this right. less than 48 hours after you reported to LA that Syd had shown up here Brain Dead Bobby shows up here," Doug said sliding forward in this seat to stare at Vaughn.  
  
"Correct! Seems Tate has had the whole cache of CIA agents in Europe on alert since Sydney was reported missing. Everyone except those of us in London."  
  
"I don't get this. Why would Weiss send up a red flag like that? He knows it could blow my cover," Sydney's forehead wrinkled to match Michael's.  
  
"I don't get this either," Emma said noticing the looks that passed between the two men.  
  
"I used to do the same thing if you needed cover or a safe house. It was just a flag that they should expect a package. Tate knew you'd end up here and he wanted you intercepted before you got to me," Vaughn said.  
  
"To keep the ball in play for next week," Doug finished.  
  
"What ball? This scroll is a minor part of the whole Rambaldi game," Sydney was still confused and her head was beginning to swim.  
  
"Syd the scroll isn't the ball, its." Doug looked at Michael.  
  
"It's me. I'm the ball," Vaughn finished for him.  
  
"You're talking about the mission you're going on next week, aren't you?" Emma suddenly understood what the two men had been talking about.  
  
"Alright now I'm really confused," Sydney piped up.  
  
"I'm taking a deep cover assignment for 6 months. It's been something in the works for the last 5 years and Tate is hoping to ride my success right into the Director's chair," Vaughn said.  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
"Tate knows about our history. It was in my file, including the letters of reprimand. He knew I would risk the assignment next week to protect you and he wanted to stop me."  
  
"What's the assignment?" Sydney asked, wondering what could possibly be taking Vaughn out into the field. The guy was a Station head, not a field officer.  
  
"I can't tell you Syd, its classified, so please don't ask," Vaughn said looking her straight in the eye. It wasn't that he didn't trust her. Vaughn trusted her with his life but the mission was classified need to know and at the moment Sydney did not need to know.  
  
"So what happened?"  
  
"I went over his head," Vaughn answered simply.  
  
"Oh man that was not the smartest thing you've ever done Mike. This man has taken grudges to a whole new level. He's gonna have your ass," Doug said shaking his head at his friend's nerve.  
  
"I didn't have a choice, Doug. He was willing to put Syd at risk and I wasn't. I called Director Holland myself when Tate went to the bathroom and told him what was happening. Apparently Agent Bristow and destroying SD-6 have carry a little more weight than Tate's personal agenda does," Vaughn said with satisfaction and a smug grin.  
  
"How did you call if he took your phone and Dave's away?" Emma asked.  
  
"Easy. I used Tate's. I wasn't going to let him take Sydney. There was just no way," Michael said squeezing Sydney's hand.  
  
"Balls, buddy, huge balls!" Doug was roaring with laughter.  
  
"So what do you think it'll be like working in the mailroom?" Vaughn smiled at his friend.  
  
"How did he react when you told him what you'd done?" Sydney asked. Once again Vaughn had sacrificed himself for her.  
  
"He didn't take it well if that's what you're asking. Stormed out of the place leaving Dave and I stranded in Brighton. We had to take the train back, which is another reason we're late," Vaughn told them, ducking as Doug threw a pillow at him.  
  
"I can't believe you!" Doug laughed.  
  
"So you both find this funny?" Emma asked slightly miffed.  
  
"Emma, relax. It's going to be fine," Doug said and tried to hug her.  
  
"No it won't! Michael has probably just crossed a man that could torpedo his career and if he's mad enough, come after Sydney anyway," Emma yelled at them. Both men sobered immediately.  
  
"He's not that dumb."  
  
"But you've just said he's the most incompetent man in the CIA, so why wouldn't he?" Sydney asked catching on to what Emma was saying.  
  
"Robert Tate may be incompetent but he's terrified of pissing off Holland. No he'll back off, if he knows I have the Director's backing," Vaughn said getting to his feet. His stomach was growling with hunger.  
  
"Are you sure?" Sydney asked not letting go of his hand.  
  
"Positive, besides Holland, there's one more person that Tate does not want to piss off," Vaughn said as he reached over with his other hand to tuck a stray bit of hair behind Syd's ear. He didn't pull it away after but instead cupped her cheek.  
  
"Who?" Emma asked.  
  
"Syd's dad," Vaughn tossed over his shoulder as he moved away from Syd toward the kitchen.  
  
"Speaking of Syd's dad, we better phone LA and let them know you finally showed up," Doug said going off in search of his phone. He stopped in the living room doorway.  
  
"Emma you better tell him who called this afternoon," Doug said watching Vaughn's expression change.  
  
"Who called?" Vaughn asked and turned to face Emma.  
  
"Jill. She heard about the bombing and wanted to make sure you were okay. She wants you to call her back," Emma looked from Michael to Sydney.  
  
"Where is she?" he asked as he wandered toward Gary's room in search of the phone.  
  
"Paris. Call her on her cell!" Emma called after him.  
  
"Thanks Em!" he shouted and before Emma could say another word, they heard the bedroom door close.  
  
"Syd I'm so sorry about that," Emma turned back to Sydney. She looked so horribly sad and small.  
  
"Emma don't worry. You had to tell him. It's okay," she said looking down at her hands.  
  
"I did but he didn't have to go running off like that," Emma said, sitting in the armchair beside Sydney.  
  
"But they're dating.." Sydney started but Emma interrupted her.  
  
"It's over Syd."  
  
"I know, he told me but something like this could get them back together."  
  
"Not in a million years, not if you're back in his life," Emma said with conviction.  
  
"I wish you were right," Sydney smiled sadly.  
  
"Trust me on this. I am right," Emma said patting Sydney's shoulder. Sydney smiled at her weakly.  
  
"Hungry?" Emma asked as her own stomach gurgled  
  
"Starved!" Sydney said and smiled through her unshed tears as Emma made her way to the kitchen leaving Sydney alone to her thoughts.  
  
TBC 


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Rainy Days and Mondays Chapter 8  
  
Author: Karin (Bailsgal)  
  
Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com  
  
Feedback: Live for it!  
  
Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.  
  
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Television., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito  
  
Distribution: Whoever wants it just ask and it's yours.  
  
Rating : PG to start.  
  
Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance.what could a person ask for?  
  
Author's Note: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie! I'd be lost without her help and support. And to all the wonderful people who took the time to send me feedback.. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
  
Vaughn had been in the bedroom for nearly an hour before Doug gave up trying to keep his girlfriend from butting her nose into Mike's love life.  
  
"I just can't sit here anymore wondering what happened," Emma whispered urgently to her boyfriend, not wanting to alarm Sydney.  
  
"If Mike wants to talk to you about it, he will. Stay out of it Emma," Doug hissed as he stirred the chicken broth they'd been making for Sydney.  
  
"Maybe he doesn't feel he can talk about Jill with Sydney sitting in the living room. Ever think of that?" Emma said looking through the crack in the kitchen door. Sydney sat alone in the living room huddled under the mountain of blankets, staring miserably at the television set as she had been since Vaughn had disappeared into Gary's room. Emma's heart went out to Syd Michael could be such an idiot at times it!  
  
"Of course I did but you know Mike is a private person. He doesn't share everything," Doug placed his hand on Emma's arm to keep her in the kitchen but she shrugged it off, interrupting him.  
  
"He does with me!" Emma said pushing through the kitchen door into the living room.  
  
"Sydney, dinner should be ready any minute. Doug just is waiting for the broth to boil. I'm just gonna call Michael for dinner. I'll be right back," Emma smiled, hoping Sydney didn't notice how concerned she was by Michael's disappearance into Gary's room.  
  
"Sure, whatever," Sydney mumbled, pulling her eyes away from the TV to watch Emma walk down the hall.  
  
****  
  
Emma stood outside the bedroom door and listened carefully but heard nothing. She knocked on the door once before she opened it. Michael was sitting on the side of the bed staring at the wall. Emma closed the door and leaned back against it to look at him. He looked shell-shocked.  
  
"You okay?" Emma asked.  
  
"Fine," he answered quietly, smiling despite his misery. Emma always knew when he needed her.  
  
"You sure?" she pushed gently. She crossed her arms over her chest and eyed him carefully.  
  
"Yeah," he nodded, looking down at his clasped hands. Emma moved to stand beside him.  
  
"So that's how fine is supposed to look? Because I think you look pretty miserable," she said, plopping down on the bed beside him. Michael was startled by her closeness.  
  
"You trying to give me a heart attack? You should wear a bloody bell, you now that?" he lashed out at her.  
  
"So you're not fine then," she said dryly, ignoring his snappish response.  
  
"I'm sorry," he sighed, patting her knee.  
  
"So? How'd it go? Did she take a strip off you?" Emma asked as she leaned against him, placing her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Understatement."  
  
"I should have warned you. After she found out you weren't dead or dismembered, she went on the offensive," Emma sighed, "Michael, I should have told you."  
  
"She asked me to apologise to you, by the way. She said she was out of line. Jill's always liked you, Emma; she was just taking out her anger at me on you. You know what a redheaded temper is like," Vaughn wrapped his arm around Emma's shoulders.  
  
"What else did she have to say?" Emma asked, nodding her head so it bobbed up and down against his shoulder.  
  
"A lot," he said cryptically. He wasn't quite sure yet how to put what Jill had said into words.  
  
"Let me guess... you're feeling guilty because you made her worry for nothing?"  
  
"Partly. I still love her," he laughed as Emma growled softly. It was obvious to him whose side Emma was going to be on in all this.  
  
"But you're not in love with her right?" Emma would have crossed her fingers if she hadn't been sitting so close to him.  
  
"No I am and that's the problem. I never thought..." his voice trailed off.  
  
"That you could love her and Sydney at the same time?"  
  
"No that's not it either," he sighed, wishing he could put it all in words so that Emma could understand.  
  
"Then what is it Michael?" Emma asked frustrated because she couldn't get a handle on what was bothering her roommate.  
  
"All my adult life I have loved Jill, even when we broke up and I dated Alice, I loved Jill. Then Sydney came along and I fell in love with her, against my better judgement. I didn't mean to love her, it just happened and I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop it. When Noah came back into the picture and Sydney seemed prepared to spend the rest of her life with him, well I was hurt and I was angry. Jill came back into my life when I was wallowing in pain and it seemed like the thing to do... get back with her, I mean," Vaughn stopped and stood up to look out the window into the London night.  
  
"Michael?" Emma remained on the bed, staring up at him. She was afraid that if she moved, he'd clam up. It was obvious he needed to talk this out. Whatever he and Jill had talked about had hit him hard, much harder than Emma would have guessed.  
  
"We just picked up where we left off, and that meant loving her. I was happy with Jill. I actually thought we could have a life together, something that I couldn't see with Syd. But then our careers got in the way again and with that there's no room for a family," Vaughn pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the pounding in his head.  
  
"I thought her ambition was part of what you loved about her?" Emma asked. She was feeling slightly confused as she remembered a previous conversation they'd shared about his relationship with Jill.  
  
"It wasn't hers this time, it was mine. This mission coming up was a major bone of contention between us and so was Sydney."  
  
"How could she ever think you'd turn you're back on your duty or Sydney?" Emma reached out to place a hand on his rigid back. "If she thought you would then she doesn't know you that well."  
  
"I don't think she ever did, that's the problem. She knew I wouldn't be able to turn my back on Sydney or leave this life behind. She told me that she didn't want to end up a widow raising our children alone like my mother did," Vaughn continued as Emma started to rub the back of his neck with both hands.  
  
"Of course not, no one should have to do that but this is all hypothetical anyway so what's the problem?"  
  
"Emma, she's pregnant," Vaughn blurted out, unable to hold the truth in any longer. Even saying the words out loud didn't help to ease the need to throw up.  
  
"What?" Emma blinked, her mouth hanging open. She was unable to believe what he'd just said.  
  
"She's pregnant," he said again, turning to face her.  
  
"My god!" she whispered, stepping in to hug him to her.  
  
"I'm gonna be a father," Vaughn choked. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  
  
Emma stepped back and looked at him. Her heart went out to him because instead of seeing a man thrilled to death with such news, she saw her best friend trying desperately to hold it all together.  
  
"And she doesn't want me to be a part of this child's life or hers as long as I continue on this path."  
  
"You can't be serious!" Emma gaped at him. What could she say to him? Jill had just given him the ultimate ultimatum, his job or his family.  
  
"She's agreed to meet with me tomorrow to talk. I just can't believe this is happening now!" he said picking up a hard cover novel off of Gary's shelf and hurling it across the room with such force, Emma jumped.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. Ignoring the anger raging inside him, Emma hugged him tight to her again.  
  
"I can't let her do this. This is my child! I know what it's like growing up without a father and I don't want that for my baby," he said slipping his own arms around her waist.  
  
"We'll get a lawyer. We will not let her do this to you."  
  
"Thanks Em, but she's not the bad guy here. She's just scared," He said softly as he rested his chin on Emma's head.  
  
"How can you defend her?" she demanded as she pulled back quickly from him, causing her head to connect with his chin.  
  
"Emma, please just let it be," he begged wincing as he rubbed his chin where her head had hit it.  
  
"Are you sure it's even yours?" Emma asked.  
  
"Of course it's mine! Em, this is Jill were talking about not some teenage girl trying to trap her boyfriend. I don't doubt it's mine, so leave it. Please," he said and then groaned again at the numbness in his chin.  
  
"Did I hurt you?" she asked her hand rubbing her own head.  
  
"No, it just smarts a bit. You?" he smiled sadly, grateful that Emma had let it drop for the moment.  
  
"I think I need some ice, your chin's pretty hard. I may have to sue," she teased, trying to get a grin out of him.  
  
"Oh please, you have nothing," he laughed despite the disaster that was his life at the moment. Emma had a way of making him forget the difficult things; even if it was just for a minute.  
  
"What about Sydney?" Emma suddenly said." The poor girl is sitting out there on the couch close to tears. I swear if I didn't love you so much, I'd kick your ass for the way you went charging off to call Jill. You didn't stop to think about Sydney's feelings for one second! Whether you know it or not, that girl loves you with every fibre of her being."  
  
For some strange reason Emma felt it was her job to make sure that these two found their way back to each other and the current development would not help the situation.  
  
"I'll tell her. I can't lie to her about this. I've never lied to her about anything," he stammered slightly, taken aback by Emma's behaviour.  
  
"Everything but your feelings for her," she grumbled.  
  
"Em I couldn't tell her, and I'm not sure I should now. Maybe Jill is right, I'm not a good risk when it comes to a relationship."  
  
"Bullshit!" she slapped his arm.  
  
"I'm serious!" he couldn't help laughing at the look on her face. "Look at my life! I'm going off on a mission in a couple weeks that I may not walk away from. Why should I let either Sydney or Jill be part of my life?"  
  
"Oh you're pathetic!" she groaned flopping back on the bed, frustrated beyond belief with him.  
  
"I'm being practical," he argued.  
  
"You're being a baby," she countered.  
  
"I don't have a choice. Not until this is all over," he shrugged.  
  
"Then let me ask you something... if something happened and, god forbid, you didn't make it back from what ever you're doing would you want Syd wondering for the rest of her life, if you loved her when it was perfectly clear she loved you? Huh? Would you?" she said nudging him with her foot.  
  
"It may be for the best. I don't want to be another Danny."  
  
"You're not. You're Michael."  
  
"Thanks for the reminder," he frowned.  
  
"No problem."  
  
She nudged him again,  
  
"I just think you should tell her the truth about Jill and the baby and then you should tell her you love her, or visa versa, but Michael tell her. You'll be sorry if you don't."  
  
"I will."  
  
"What about Jill?" Emma asked getting to her feet.  
  
"I don't know," he sighed, hating the fact that he suddenly felt completely brain dead.  
  
"Maybe Syd can help? Now come on, dinner's ready and you need to talk to her," Emma said sticking her hand out to pull him to his feet.  
  
"How'd you get to be so smart?"  
  
"Hanging out with you, I guess," Emma shrugged blushing at his compliment.  
  
  
  
Sydney sat quietly fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill over at any minute. She hated crying, it made her feel vulnerable and that only reminded her of the absence of the one steadying force in her life.Michael Vaughn. Although Vaughn wasn't gone (he was after all, just down the hall behind a closed door talking to Emma about his ex) she felt distanced from him. How could she have expected him to wait all this time for her? She must have been nuts. Michael Vaughn was one of the most attractive men to ever have crossed her path, so why wouldn't some other woman nab him?  
  
Sydney was surprised to hear herself sniffling. She hadn't noticed that she'd lost the battle with her tears and they flowed down her cheeks freely. All she really wanted (if she couldn't have Vaughn) was her nice warm bed and Francie's wonderful home-made chicken soup. Thinking of home only made her feel worse and she wanted to go back to LA; to her bed, to her friends, to her father, and where there were no physical reminders of Vaughn.  
  
Sydney burrowed under the blankets while she watched some British talk show. She couldn't have said who or what it was about though; she was so lost in her own misery. Damn! Why had she thought things could go back to the way they were between her and Vaughn? He had a life here, a life that didn't include her any longer.  
  
"Hey, I thought you might need this," Doug said as he suddenly appeared in front of her. In his out stretched was a cell phone.  
  
"Secure line," he whispered. He hoped that this call would put a smile on her face.  
  
"Hello?" she spoke, wiping at her tears.  
  
"Sydney?" Jack Bristow's voice reached out to her over the distance.  
  
"Daddy?" she cried.  
  
"Yeah baby it's me. Are you okay? Agent Roach told me that Vaughn is fine. How are you?" His voice was soothing and he understood Doug Roach's insistence that he talk to his daughter again. She sounded a little fragile.  
  
"Fine. I just really needed to hear your voice," Syd let herself cry freely now.  
  
"Did he do something to you?" Jack immediately went on the offensive. He began to mentally make travel arrangements. He could be in London by dinner tomorrow and Michael Vaughn would be dead by cocktails, if he'd hurt her in any way.  
  
"No, Vaughn's done nothing too me. I'm just a little overwhelmed that's all. Between the shooting, Vaughn's disappearance and being homesick, I just." Sydney sighed. "It's just the drugs Dad."  
  
Jack hated being this far away from Sydney when she was obviously so upset. Since Agent Vaughn had transferred to London six months earlier, Sydney had reached out to her father. She took Vaughn's words to heart and finally opened up to her father and in return, Jack had tried to repair some of the damage done over the years. They finally shared a relationship where years before they had shared only a distance that Jack had put between them.  
  
"I wish I was there for you Syd," he said truthfully.  
  
"I wish you were here too Dad," she sniffed.  
  
This was the first time they'd actually spoken with Syd coherent since her shooting. During Vaughn's disappearance, Doug had served as go between for them, as Syd had been too upset about Vaughn to try and talk to Jack.  
  
"Have you talked to Francie?" she asked, remembering that Vaughn had told her that her father would run interference with her friends.  
  
"I told them you were in the middle of a secret high stake take over bid and all communication was restricted. I told Francie you'd call when you had a chance. Don't worry, its all taken care of," Jack assured her.  
  
"Thanks Dad," Syd hoped a smile could be heard in her voice, because there wasn't one on her face.  
  
"Look Syd, we have to keep this short. I love you," Jack hated having to hang up but any call over 5 minutes could be traced even if they couldn't break into the call itself.  
  
"I love you too Dad," Syd sniffed one last time as she heard her father hang up.  
  
Sydney lowered the phone and pressed it to her heart. She'd meant everything she'd told her father. Vaughn hadn't hurt her, or at least he hadn't hurt her on purpose, just like she hadn't meant to hurt him in LA. Sometimes things just happened.  
  
Hearing a noise, Sydney looked up to see Vaughn standing in the doorway of the living room. The only word to describe the look on his face it was pained. maybe miserable. heartbroken perhaps. Sydney stopped trying to label the look as it was obvious that one word would not describe the man before her. Her heart went out to him. Whatever conversation had taken place in that room had hurt him deeply and before she even knew what she was doing, Sydney opened up her arms to him.  
  
Vaughn stared at Sydney, unsure of what to do. God he loved this woman! He'd basically run away from her and yet, here she still sat, her arms open to him, no questions asked. Without thinking past the moment of realising what he felt for her, Vaughn closed the distance between them and tumbled into her arms and the safe harbor they offered him.  
  
"What is it?" she finally asked, rubbing his back and feeling him shudder at her feather light touch.  
  
"I owe you an apology," he began. "The way I ran out of here. it was inconsiderate of me, Syd and I was an ass. I'm sorry."  
  
Vaughn released a pent up sigh before he continued,  
  
"When Em said that Jill had finally called.. I'd been trying to reach her since the night she flew out of here after we broke up and when I heard she'd called, I lost it."  
  
Vaughn hugged her to him tightly, hoping she'd understand. Hoping that after she heard the whole truth she wouldn't pull away from him, losing her was not something he was prepared to do again. Having her back in his life again, even if it had been for just a couple days, showed him just how empty his life was without her.  
  
"I know you love her. It's okay," Sydney knew she should pull back or risk being hurt, but she needed to be close to him, just as she knew that he needed her.  
  
"That's not it. I owe you so many explanations and I don't even know where to start except to tell you I love you," he said softly. He pulled away from her so that he could look her in the eyes; those beautiful brown eyes that had haunted him since he'd left LA.  
  
"You love me?" she whispered.  
  
"I do," he said, nodding his head and smiling sadly at her.  
  
"But this.us.it can't." she stammered. There were boundaries, deadly boundaries to their relationship, ones that couldn't be crossed.  
  
"I know, but I.I don't want to lose you again. Leaving you in LA has been the hardest thing I've done. And you need to know why I left, you need to know why I can tell you I love you now but still love someone else.and what her place is in my life. God there's so much I need to say to you but I wanted you to know that first and above all, you are the most important thing in my life Sydney," Vaughn finished before he finally leaned in to place a tender kiss on her lips.  
  
"Me too," she whispered as he pulled back. "You are the most important thing in my life. You have been since the day you walked into that conference room. I was just too dumb to realise it. Noah was just a step back in time, Vaughn. You have always been my future," Syd leaned in to kiss him again and this time it was longer as her arms slipped around his neck, holding him in place.  
  
She slowly backed away again and smiled at him, wondering how kissing one person. the right person.could make the world fall away until nothing else mattered.  
  
"I know I keep saying I don't want to lose you again, but it's the truth Syd.."  
  
"How? How can we possibly continue with this.our lives are too complicated!"  
  
"Well find a way. I promise you we'll find a way, but first I have to tell you everything. Promise me though you'll always remember I love you." He said tucking that stubborn strain of hair that always seemed to have a mind of its own behind her ear.  
  
"You're my future." She assured him, reaching up to place her hand over his.  
  
"I'm not so sure you'll feel that way after we talk," he said and Sydney could hear the sadness creeping back into his voice.  
  
"Look at me." She said lifting his chin so their eyes met, "Whatever you have to say can't be that bad."  
  
"I don't know about that." He sighed, wishing he didn't have to do this. Wishing he'd never let Noah and Sydney's relationship chase him out of L.A. and back into Jill's life.  
  
"Let me be the judge of that okay?" she nudged him with her leg, wanting him to continue.  
  
Vaughn took her hand in his and studied it intently before he found the strength to speak again. This would only get tougher from this point on. Telling her he loved her had been easier than he thought it would be. Telling her that Jill would forever be part of his life.their life, if she wanted that.just felt wrong. Vaughn took a deep breath and looked her in the eye.  
  
"Jill is pregnant Syd," He said it quietly and let his eyes drop from hers to where their entwined fingers lay on the blanket. Syd said nothing. She was stunned.  
  
"Oh," she finally whispered when she could find her voice again. His confession had taken her breath and voice away. Sydney smiled ironically, marvelling at how, even from Paris, Jill had scored a direct hit. How could you possibly hate someone so much and never have met them?  
  
Okay this isn't about me! This is about Vaughn. One side of Syd's brain sceamed.  
  
Yeah, but this was our chance.our chance! the other side threw back.  
  
Unable to look her in the eye Vaughn just kept talking,  
  
"She's told me that unless I leave you and the CIA behind, she doesn't want me in this child's life. "  
  
"Oh Vaughn," Sydney gushed in horror, totally forgetting her own pain and focusing on his. Dropping his hands, Syd gathered him again in her arms and held him to her heart. How could anyone keep this loving man from his child? Vaughn would make the most wonderful father. Was this woman nuts?  
  
"She will not do this too you.to us. I promise," Sydney whispered to him.  
  
TBC 


End file.
